Anybody who believes that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach flunked geography.

~Robert Byrne, quoted in 1,911 Best Things Anybody Ever Said, 1988

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Sam did not like this. She sat up straight in Florence’s chair covered with a huge pink cape and looked at herself in the mirror. The shop was lightly buzzing with the normal sounds of a woman’s beauty salon. Everyone talking away with gossip and daily small town news. If she were a regular here, Sam would have known the shop was actually much quieter than it would normally be. All eyes and ears were attuned to this little drama being played out before their very eyes. These women knew they would have to report details later.

Her wet hair was fanned out over the pink cape, as Florence slowly combed it out gently, yet firmly. Samantha hadn’t realized it had grown so long. Actually, it was time to trim it. If it was up to her at this moment she would have it trimmed about four inches. That would bring it up to just past her shoulders. That she would have been doing any way. But she wasn’t in charge today. Jake was and even though she had promised herself she wouldn’t look at him; not give him the satisfaction, his eyes caught hers in the reflection of the mirror and held firmly. Without the silly glasses, his dark glare demanded she look at him.

“Are you sure, sweetie? I know Tom says it’s OK, but what do you say?” Florence leaned over and whispered this in her ear. She put one hand on Sam’s small shoulder and squeezed. “Can you just do about four inches first please, Florence. It does need that much cut and then well…..let’s just do that first, OK?”

“Of course. That should be first anyway.” The tall brunette combed Sam’s hair out evenly down her back and made quick work of the long ends. Maybe this would pacify Sam’s husband. Flo seriously thought the extreme cut Jake had shown her earlier was too much. Sam flipped her hair back and forth, liking the cut and thinking it really looked good at this length. Suddenly she had an idea. Maybe she could work her way out of a shorter do. “Can you hold on a minute, Flo? I’ll be right back, OK?” Sam hopped down from the chair and started towards Jake. More bees with honey, she thought and wound up standing in front of her king bee.

Joe had on a pair of dark blue jeans and a navy blue tee-shirt. Try as he might, it was hard for him to remain in geek uniform constantly. He had his glasses tucked in his tee-shirt pocket and still sat calmly, his legs crossed and his cigar still smoking. Sam had never known any man who could sit with crossed legs and not look gay. Jake could. Every bone in his body screamed ‘M-A-N.’ He couldn’t help it. It was what it was.

His eyes trolled up to her face, eyebrows raised in question. “Honey…?” Sam purred. “Huhhhhmmmmmm?” Jake responded and thumped his ashes. “What say,…. this is short enough? OK? It’s cute, right?” she swung her head to the side and the pert cut swung with her. “If you let me get away with this I might just be ever so grateful, sugah.” Samantha used her baby-doll Southern blonde voice. Just as Jake had the world’s most tall dark and handsome voice, she had that ultra-sweet playboy bunny tone that matched his to a tee. “Pretty pleaseee……?” Sam gushed and pushed his legs down and apart so she could worm her way between his legs headed towards his crotch. She leaned her head down towards his ear and allowed herself to fall into his lap, pink cape and all. Jake held his cigar up and out of her way, curious to see how far she would take this. Wrapping her hands around his neck, she rubbed that sweetly and reached his ear with her soft lips. She licked his ear. “I can think of several happy activities my mouth would enjoy tonight. Shall I expound?”

Jake’s laugh came from deep down in his chest. He glanced up and noticed all eyes in the salon were on them. Quickly all heads turned away and resumed their fake conversations. He ground out his cigar and stood up carrying Samantha with him as his lap disappeared. “I’m sure you can, baby.” He looked down at her in his arms. With long strides he returned her to the chair she had vacated. “Keep those thoughts. You will be expected to follow through with those promises later, honey-child.” He mocked her Southernisms softly and plopped her back down. “Now, do I need to tie you down?” he whispered, his face nose to nose with hers. Samantha shivered. ‘Grrrr.’ she thought; seriously considering that. He was leaning forward his hands resting on the chair arms, entrapping her. The dark eyes locked with hers, but he spoke up to Florence, not his little Sam.

“Cut it.” He said, in his deep sexy voice.

Standing back up he glanced at Flo. “Cut it right now. Just like we discussed.” Turning he leaned up against the counter besides Florence’s chair. He crossed his arms and his lanky legs casually and waited. Something told him he needed to hang close if this was to be accomplished. ‘Oh shit! Oh shit, shit, shit….’ His little wife’s thoughts raced and she knew this was the end of the line. How had she gotten into this? Three days ago, all this hair-cutting stuff had not even been an option. Now suddenly she was cutting her hair to please “her man” and was completely confused as to why she had to do this. She could run couldn’t she? Somehow she knew Jake would prevent that move. He’d stop her or he’d find her if she did just stand up and run. Also, how would that look? Her running down the road of Aggie’s Acres’ main street with a pink hair salon cape flowing behind her, screaming at the top of her lungs for help? Sam giggled. What could she say to this. “I’m trying to escape the world’s sexiest man. Help me!” Obviously she was hysterical. She’d lost her mind and this was all a strange dream. She glanced up at her husband. He looked real. He looked real mad as well. Stern and domineering. Was he “acting”? ‘Lord what’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with us? ‘Sam blinked.

“OK.” Florence let out an exasperated sigh and swiveled the chair around. She wanted to say she was sorry ahead of time, but she knew Sam had tried everything to put “Tom” off. She combed through Samantha’s hair and sectioned it off clipping up the top layer neatly. Then she focused in on the lower lengths. Using the scissors she started on the left hand side and before Sam knew it her hair on one side was cut shorter than she had ever had her hair cut in her life. The big scissors came up and cut directly, in a straight line across the top of her ear. Florence was cutting her hair right along the hairline. No layering, no wispy cute lengths, this was a cut that would simply be totally short. And totally not what Sam wanted.

“NO!” Sam viewed this in the mirror and burst into tears.

‘Oh! Fuck!’ Jake held himself back. He hung onto his arms and held firm. What he wanted to do was reach for her and say ‘never-mind, baby.’ But it was too late now. Florence continued onward until the lower length of Sam’s hair was cut exactly at her hair-line. Samantha felt a strong urge to throw up. She didn’t like short hair on herself. She’d never even considered it. For some reason it made her feel
very unfeminine. She knew Florence wasn’t the menace here but at the same time she wanted to grab her hands and shake her. It was horrifying to Sam. It truly was. Even if she had wanted her hair cut short she’d never have opted for a style like this. The scissors came up and started tapering her hair downward. The longer lengths on the top tapered down to the very shortest possible on the bottom. The hairdresser stepped back and walked to her counter picking up a pair of clippers. Samantha didn’t see this and if she had she most definately would have jumped out of the chair. With those in hand Florence placed them on the back of Sam’s nape, flipped them on quickly and moved them upward. Flo knew if she didn’t get this done before Sam was aware of the clipping, Sam would never allow it. Six foot two husband or not, the fiery blonde would NOT have this at all. “STOP!” Sam became un-hypnotized and tried to pull away. She was becoming hysterical and didn’t think she would make it through this. At that point she didn’t care what their audience thought nor what Jake thought or wanted. “I can’t!” Flo sounded just as horrified as Sam. She grabbed Sam’s shoulders and pulled her back in the chair. “I’ve already done it. It’s OK. Just wait. It’s short but it will all look cute. Don’t worry.” Florence patted her shoulder. “Relax. Trust me.”

Jake felt like he was going to explode. This was all his doing. On top of that he was just as mesmerized as Sam had been when he had his hair cut. His palms were sweating and the reaction was the same. Who’d uh thunk it? They both had this hair-cutting thing? He decided in the long run to keep his mouth shut. Returning to what he thought was his best masculine stance he held ground and gritted his teeth against Sam’s tears. And that hurt. It did. He was completely confused about how to handle this. And Jake never got confused.

Sam closed her eyes and felt more tears falling. She surpressed the urge to feel the back of her neck. She couldn’t do it. She would be sick right there in front of everyone. She would have to give in. The damage was done. Surrendering? Was that what she was doing? She peeked a look at Jake’s face barely seeing him through the tears. It was disturbing. His face was simply stone cold. Watching intently, but still without emotion. She vowed right then and there to never forgive him. Never.

He was having her hair cut like a little boy. Other women wore their hair like this but it had never been for Sam. Never. Jake was having her hair sheared off as if he didn’t care at all about her feelings. Surely he didn’t understand how much her hair meant to her? So it was all about him, after all. He didn’t care a whiff about her. The feeling of the clippers going up and up her neck. Samantha had a hard time with this. It tickled and she shivered. Praying this would be over soon. Soon she could get up and just run and hide. Not even look in the mirror. She could just bury her head and wait until it grew out. How could Jake think this would be sexy? How could he think she really wanted this done?

Surprisingly the clippers felt good, vibrating against her skin. At the same time she fought nausea back. Jake was ruining her hair. Her gorgeous beautiful hair. ‘My hair and our marriage.’ Samantha thought and felt she needed something to hang on to here. Something to get herself through this. There wasn’t anything.

Jake had said she had a hair fetish. A haircutting thing. At this point she had to admit it must only be about his hair.

****

Flo reached up and released the upper section of her hair and combed it down. She began blending it in and Samantha realized what kind of cut this was. It was to end up like a bob sort of. The top lengths would be longer and the bottom under cut short. She could live with this. She would have to it seemed. By the time Florence had trimmed it to match, the guys meeting Jake, had appeared in the doorway to the salon. Jake greeted them and Florence did as well. She, Ernie and Floyd discussed some details of the evening’s events and Jake bent down to study Samantha and the haircut.

Sam wiped her eyes and wouldn’t look at him.

“Don’t cry, Sam. It’s cute baby. Really. It is. Please don’t cry baby.” he whispered. At that point with the other men there and the whole salon watching he couldn’t explain to her how he really felt. “Don’t even……..just go.” Was all she could muster. “Just go away, Jake.” Samantha wanted to sock him. He was the last person she wanted at the moment. She didn’t want him to see her like this. It was humiliating to her. She felt like she had been stripped naked and not in a sexy way. "Baby. It’s cute. Really." He put his hand up and ran a finger over the tip of her ear and tucking the bobbed top backwards. Sam jumped and slapped his hand away. She narrowed her eyes at him and it shocked Jake. He’d never seen her look so angry.

"Get away from me." she whispered.

Jake went. He turned tail and ran. In his entire life he had never been confronted with a situation he couldn’t handle. With big studio heads and some of the most powerful men in the world, he was never worried. Never blinked. Never backed down. Always full of confidence. Until now. Not only was he unable to deal with Sam’s tears, he was unable to deal with his raging hard-on. Watching the clippers run up her neck had taken everything out of him. In shock and hot as hell, he was confronting emotions he had never met before. He ran away with the guys and prayed that Sam would recover. It chilled him to his bones, to think that she would never forgive him. But still he ran. Like a rabbit with a hound dog on his trail. He ran. Leaving his sweet little wife to deal with this. It was either that or he could remain and explode in his jeans. In front of Florence, these men and the entire town’s female gossips.

****

All the gossips in Florence’s Beauty Salon watched as the husband exited in a rush. Then the little bride jumped up and ran into the back room of the salon. She slammed the door shut and her crying continued louder and louder. Florence shook her head and pushed the two men out the door and rushed in to Sam.

Surprisingly Sam was sitting up on the little sofa back there and she appeared to be wiping her tears off. Sam had decided to stop whining about this and get on with it. She’d never been a diva and Jake wasn’t going to get her started now. Besides she had plans to make. She’d have to teach Jake a lesson now. Standing up she started pacing back and forth, still wearing the big cape and mumbling under her breath, ready to use her anger. Somehow without Jake watching her she was able to gather herself together. Flo stopped her mid-pace and grabbed her shoulders.

“Stop. Stop Samantha.” She said sweetly. Sam started at her with her big eyes spread wide. “LOOK at ME! Look what he’s done.” Finally she allowed herself to reach up and touch the short hair at the back of her head. "Oh. Oh. OH!" She felt the soft short hairs and burst into tears again.

Grinning Florence pulled her over and gave her a hug. "Stop, honey. It’s not the end of the world." "Yes. Yes it iss….." Sam cried. "I just…I’ve never….I’ve never had my hair cut like this….."

"But it’s cute, Sam!" Florence pushed her back and ran her fingers through Sam’s bangs."

Samantha tried to catch her breath. She sighed. "It’s ruined Florence. I’m sorry. I know it’s not your fault. This was all the big shot’s idea." She wip
ed her face again.

“Well, actually it’s very darn cute.” Florence turned her around and pushed her over to the chair in front of a big mirror. “Sit down and let me finish…” “Hey…” Sam looked. “It may be cute.." She turned from side to side. "Not as bad as I thought. But still. Here’s the thing. I have VERY curly hair. This top part will never lay down flat or work this way. When it dries I will look like Bozo the clown. Damn him. Christ on a croissant! Men like Jake don’t understand hair styles and such………..” she slammed her hand down over her mouth and glanced at Flo in the mirror.

The hair dresser picked up a huge round brush and the hairdryer. She grabbed a chunk of the longer hair at the top and pulled it tightly around the brush. “Number one. I KNOW that’s Jake Patterson, Sam. I may be the only one in town that follows the movie rags but I KNOW that’s him. I know he is filming in Wichita in a few weeks and I KNOW about that film role. No wonder he cut his hair. Wow, he’s cute…” Sam frowned sternly and crossed her arms. “OK, a shit yes….. but, hell honey he is a dreamboat. Secondly I have my ways. They have those new hair straighteners…” she pointed to said device on her table…” and if you just dry it like this with enough product…. and then use…this..” she proceeded to turn Sam’s hair into a darling floppy, flirty and perfectly straight bunch of sexy strands atop the short cropped under-cut. Shiny and flyaway with no kinky curl in sight. Stepping away she rummaged through a box on the table. “Here.” She said handing Sam two small pearl earrings. “Put those in.” She backed up and stared at Sam’s reflection with Sam herself.

“Thirdly. You HAVE to tell me what’s up? I hadn’t read anything about Jake being married. Also, please dear God in Heaven tell me what he is like…errr……behind closed doors. Do that and believe me, I will keep your hair looking so sexy and gorgeous that you may not even grow it out again. You will also have every male in this town following you around with their tongues hanging out.”

Samantha allowed herself a tiny grin. She did look great. Maybe this wasn’t so bad after all. She looked fabulous. She turned to Florence smiling from ear to ear. “Why you little sneak!” she laughed.

“I’ll tell you a BIG secret, Sam.” Flo leaned forward. Men LOVE short hair. They say they like the long curls, but believe me, you are gonna’ have Mr. Big Movie Star on his knees. Although it looks like he is already there with you. He tries to hide it, but you have him wrapped around your little pinky, girl.”

“I don’t want him on his knees.” Sam’s smile disappeared. “I don’t know where I want him at this point….”

“Well, of course you do, hon!”

“No.” Sam said sadly. “It’s a little more complicated than that.”

“The hell it is. You love him, right?” Florence turned Samantha’s chair around and looked her in the face.

“Of course.” Sam murmured. “But, well we have had a wild start I suppose….”

“Who hasn’t?” Florence said laughing.

Samantha looked at the dark haired older woman. “You know you seem to be right on top of a lot of things, Flo. How did you wind up here?”

“I was born here. Besides you can be ‘up on things’ no matter where you live. And with the internet, these days….you can be really ‘up on things’. I may be just smart enough to chose small town living. It isn’t half bad, you know. Come on now. I have the most perfect dress for you to wear tonight. Come upstairs and we will finish up this look of yours and you can decide what to do about that man .”

*****

“Oh, my God, Cyn……it’s really short.” Sam sat on Florence’s bed and looked at herself in the mirror. She ran her fingers through the short hair at the nape of her neck, wondering if she would ever get used to this. Talking on the phone with her best friend back in LA, was a gigantic help. Samantha had been trying to reach her all afternoon and after taking a nap in Florence’s bedroom she had gotten through. Cynthia was as shocked as Sam about all of this.

“And you cut it why? I don’t get this? And Jake cut his hair, but I get that one. For the movie right?” “Well, it’s a long story…” Sam frowned wondering how she could explain this one. “Sounds like a short one to me.” her friend cracked. “Ha Ha.” Sam smiled. “So what’s going on in Hell-A? Are you getting ready to come to Wichita?” Cynthia worked in production and was part of the crew for Jake’s new movie. “Yeah, I can’t wait. Oh shit……I do have news….guess who has also joined this crew? You will never guess.” “Who?” Sam was looking at the dress Flo carried as she opened the door and came into the room. It looked like a bright red sundress. She wondered what was so special about it. “Jessie!” Cyn stated with the glee that comes with the telling of great gossip. “WHAT?!” Samantha almost dropped the phone. “How? Why? He hates Jake. At least he used to.” “Money, honey. One of the camera men exited. Family illness or some such. Obviously they offered him a lot. Last minute thing. God, this will be rich. Does Jake know him? Know anything about you and big Jess?” “NO! I haven’t covered my past sins yet. I’m sure Jake could care less but Jessie can be such an ass. We didn’t part on great terms.” “I recall. Still, maybe you’d better warn Jake. Or not. I love fireworks. It IS that season, you know. Fourth of July and all. Sounds like we will need something in Kansas to keep us occupied.” Cynthia was as free and as wild a spirit, as was Samantha. At least until Sam had run smack dab into the stone wall of Jake Patterson.

“Oh, shit, Cyn. I hope I live through this. I hope I stay healthy and just take care of this baby.” “Oh, you’ll be fine. And I’ll be there as well. I’ll watch out for you and my future god child. And she’d better be a girl. I couldn’t deal with a mini Jake. The world’s got one of those and one’s enough.” Sam laughed, happy she had a friend like Cyn and thrilled she had gotten through to her.

*****

Flo stared at Sam in the red dress and decided she looked perfect. There are certain times in one’s life when everything is prime. Samantha was a sweet age and newly pregnant. She had a healthy glow in her pink cheeks and with the new hairstyle she looked spectacular.

“Audrey Hepburn.” Flo said almost to herself. “What?” Sam asked, still studying her own image. It was hard to believe that was her in the full length mirror. She looked totally different. And beautiful. Really pretty. Before she had been stylish, and very hip. Great, but not this elegant. “You look like Audrey Hepburn in Roman Holiday. You know right after
she cut her hair. That’s a hard woman to compare to but I think you look wonderful.” “She was a brunette.” “The same class, the same glamour. I don’t know but it’s the first thing I thought. No telling what most of the males at this shin-dig will think. All over you they’ll be. Even Pete. Specifically Pete.” “Well, thank you but I seriously doubt it.” Sam was still concentrating on Jake and his wild get away. Wondering how she felt and if she should really stay mad. She had stayed in Florence’s room all afternoon, not wanting to see him or talk to him.

“OK. Let’s go. Pete will be here in a second and you can go down with us. From what Pete said, your husband is still down at the bandstand helping Ernie and Floyd. We can meet him there, OK?” The small woman hesitated.

“It’s OK. Don’t worry. There will be so many people around that you won’t have to talk to him all night. And I promise to monopolize his time if you want him held off.” Flo’s eyebrows flew up. “I’d be more than happy to!”

“Oh, Flo. You have been so sweet to me. I really needed a friend today.” Samantha gave her a small hug. “And I’d NEVER put a good friend through something like that.” “Oh, …..no trouble. Really. It couldn’t be that painful.” Florence said. Sam grinned devilishly, “You just don’t know. He’s a scamp!” “A real bad-boy, huh?” “You have no idea how bad.” Sam shook her head and her cute new hairstyle bounced with her. Florence pushed her towards the door and turned off the lights as they left the room. “Well, TELL me! Please.”

*****

And so a very prime young woman, looking more of a movie star than her husband, took the small town by storm that night. It wasn’t anything she did or didn’t do. The time was right. A hot summer night. The perfect little dress. Her new look, that was with-out a doubt heart stopping gorgeous. Florence had worn this dress when she was newly pregnant and the vintage years on it only added to its style. The full skirt swung out and covered Sam’s rounded stomach just enough. It was low cut in the front and Sam felt it was a ‘Betty-Boop’ dress. A dress to dance in. The red flats were Samantha’s and fit the look perfectly. ‘Marc Jacobs would be proud’, Sam thought as they walked towards the town square and the twinkling lights under the big trees. Pete, Flo’s husband, was having a hard time not staring. He couldn’t believe this was the same shaggy haired girl he’d seen earlier. This girl was a knock-out. Her neck was lovely and something about her sparkled in the twilight and the warm evening breezes. He wanted to dance with her. She had a look that would make every man tonight want to dance and romance. The belle of the ball. That’s what she was. Tonight in Aggie’s Acres, Kansas, USA on the fourth of July. Now that was something. Not many could claim to experience something like that? And tonight would be all Sam’s. ****

“Pete, watch where you are going.” Flo grinned. “You’ve almost tripped me twice.” She knew how much her husband loved short haircuts on a woman. “Uh-huh.” Pete mumbled, wondering how a geek like Tom had corralled such a lady.

“No. Look. Pete. Take Samantha over there. I see Tom and is he not through yet? Well, walk her over there and let me go see about this food.” Florence left them and headed towards the tables of food off to the side in the little town park. Pete paused and scratched his head. Then he put his hand on the back of Sam’s arm and steered her in the opposite direction. “They’re still working, …uh….” “Sam.” She said. “Call me Sam, Pete.” “Yes, ma’am.” He nodded and headed towards the group of musicians that were warming up on the small bandstand. “Not ma’am. It’s Sam. Live music? How sweet? They must be very good.” The little blond smiled at him and Pete almost swallowed his tongue. He hoped her husband wasn’t watching them as he held out his hand and helped her up. He had forgotten she was pregnant and at the last second realized why his wife had asked him to escort her.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Are you OK?” Pete steadied her as she tripped on the small step. “Yes, sir!” Sam giggled. She had never been treated with such old-timely manners and it was rather fun. Most men didn’t treat women like this anymore. It was very sweet. In fact everything seemed rather old-timey and dear. She liked it. She ruffed her own hair and swayed a bit causing the full skirt to swing. Maybe things were going to be OK.

Then she heard the growl from behind Pete’s back. That sort-of-bear-like sound Jake made when he was mad. She zeroed in on the dirty hand that grabbed Pete’s arm and didn’t want to look up and follow it. But she did. Sighing she threw her pretty eyes up and pasted a disgusted look on her face.

Her husband finished pushing Pete aside and continued wiping his hands on an old rag. He didn’t have his shirt on and was in the armless white undershirt he had worn that day. Sweaty and tired, he in no way looked ready for a party of any kind. He stared at Sam and then he stared some more, his brows drawing together the longer he looked at her.

“Well, Tom. I’d be more than happy to keep your wife company if you and the boys here have to go get cleaned up.” Pete said this happily and with great gusto.

“I’ll bet you would.” Jake said roughly.

“Jake. Don’t be an ass.” Sam said.

“Oh, but I do it so well.” Jake sneered.

Sam noticed the tiny beads of sweat laying on his arms, his shoulders and heaven help her; up to his neck. Those thick veins in his neck that stood out when Jake was mad or overly excited.

Samantha crossed her arms and frowned deeply. She remembered how mad she was and how she had vowed never to forgive him. It didn’t matter what she planned to do. She never could control her emotions when it came to this man. She’d been ready to forgive him. But not now. Oh no. Hell no! He was being rude and ugly as if he had something to be angry about.

“Well, you just go get a shower or whatever, because Pete here has promised to dance with me and get these festivities started off right. Haven’t you, Pete?” She said as the band seemed to be heading into their first number of the night. She touched Pete lightly on the arm and smiled at him very seductively.

Pete was thrilled and decided he didn’t care what these two were at odds over. He was going to dance with a very pretty little lady under the stars on this Fourth of July. “Of course, Samantha.” He held up his arms and put one hand on her waist and walked behind her towards the bandstand’s center.

Jake couldn’t take his eyes off of his gorgeous woman and that adorable nape of her neck. He resisted the urge to lunge forward and get his hands on her neck; get his hands on her. She was everything any man would ever want. Somehow between this afternoon and the disastrous beauty shop episode, she had turned into Grace Kelly. She was his, but at the moment he was hours away from getting her where he wanted her. Between his legs and tucked under him willingl
y, forgivingly and smiling. And because of that, he was furious.

He could barely stand the sight of another man’s hands on her waist.

He growled again and threw back his head looking upwards at the small lights he and the other men had worked so hard to get up for this night. There was nothing for it except to go and get a shower like Sam had said. He glanced back down at the couple beginning to sway to an old song. A romantic song. A song that anyone would enjoy on a special summer night like this. “Somewhere, beyond the sea……” the old Bobby Darrin song started up and the party began with his wife in another man’s arms. He felt, just as Sam had, the sweetness of such an old melody and the small town atmosphere. Jake Patterson grumbled one last time and jumped down from the bandstand with a purpose. Headed back up the hill to Florence’s Bed and Breakfast, he realized he’d better be fast.

Otherwise, every man in town would get to nuzzle his wife’s neck before he settled in there for the night.

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