Home » Language » English » Linda’s Quandary (Part 4)

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Linda never really did like the layered look. Oh it was not the look, I was the time it took to achieve the layered look. It was a style with all 30 hot rollers, jumbo, large, medium, small and extra small peanut, seam rollers of metal, Linda had to grab a spire of hair, wind the curler into the hair and roll it up. Then 10 min later unwind the spires all rolled up and spray them to make the achieved look hold a good curl in place. After 3 months Linda gave up on all the upkeep and said that was it she was growing her hair out again. I asked what prompted this action as I liked the layered look and Linda replied that a Cindy Christian brought about in her, a new resurgence for long hair. Cindy was the 1973 Guinness World Book Record Holder for the longest hair in the world. Yes, a lady who had hair that was 7′ 6 ½”. Linda now had a goal to beat Cindy Christians record.. I said well she will keep growing her hair and it will get longer every year. Linda said “No it will not, Cindy was just on TV. she was on national television. I watched this hairdresser to the stars, Hosie Ebare was his name and he just cut all of her hair off. She was on Johnny Carson a month ago and Carson asked her now that she had accomplished a goal, was she ever going to cut her hair and she said she had thought about it and they set it up and she just had it all cut off. Oh you should have been here it was so wild to watch. All that long hair being cut to shoulder length and she just stood there like nothing happened like a weight was lifted off her.” I said “Well a weight probably was lifted off her with hair 7′ 6 ½” long being cut off.” Linda did love long hair, she had grown her hair to knee length and beyond twice, maybe she could beat the record and be in the Guinness World Book of Records as the lady with the longest hair in the world? Now when anyone asked why Linda was growing her hair long again, she would say; “For the Guinness World Book of Records as the lady with the longest hair in the world.”

From 1974 to 1977 Linda grew her hair out and it reached to her goal of near record at 7′ 3 ½” Her hair was as beautiful as it had ever been and was again all at one even length. Linda now could stand on her hair. 87 ½” in length and Linda was only 5’6″ or 66″ tall. This meant that there was almost 2 feet of hair on the ground behind Linda, gosh what a sight to see with all that hair flowing to the ground and beyond.

Linda became pregnant with number three and decided to cut her hair to calf length. It was getting harder to grow with the child using up all the iron and calcium her hair needed to grow out properly. Her hair growth rate had dropped from 1″ to about ¼” to ½” a month. I said that it would be ok to cut it. The hair was getting hard to wash and keep braided or rolled into a topknot. Linda made an appointment at a new salon in town for the 24th of December. On the 22nd of December, Linda gave birth to another girl. Needless to say the baby’s birth and coming home on the 25th Christmas Day voided the plans for a haircut. Linda picked up growing her hair out for another 2 years. In those two years, 1977 to 1979, Linda’s hair had grown from 7′ 3 ½” to 9′ 3″.

Linda became pregnant again, and found out there was a new record holder Dianna Witt of Boston, Massachusetts, with a growth of 10′ 4″, Dianna had become the new world record holder. Linda was again short of the record and decided to cut her hair. I was away on Military Duty for the Army Reserves with a Special Forces Assignment. Linda told me on the phone that she was considering cutting her hair. Linda asked me if I minded her cutting her hair since she could not style it anymore. Linda was so far forward with this pregnancy, she could not reach her hair to do it herself anymore. She said she was tired of all the hair and knew now how Cindy felt when she got here hair cut. Plus the last straw another lady had hair a foot longer then hers and was now being crowned the new record holder. I said ok and hung up the phone.

I came home to the airport and looked for Linda and saw who I thought was our neighbor next door Cindy. Cindy had naturally curly hair that she kept very short about a ½” and when cut it took a tight curl. I thought Linda must not feel well and sent Cindy down to get me. As I got closer I noticed this was not Cindy, I looked really hard at this lady and saw my Linda. Oh my god, her hair was shorter then I had ever seen it and my heart fell to my knees. I gave her a big hug and kissed her and asked what happened. Linda said; “Do you like it?” I had to say yes and kept looking at this woman with a short _” pixie cut, I had never seen Linda’s hair shorter then waist length in over nine years of marriage. I just kept looking at Linda and I guess I looked for the hair to materialize and be long again? But it never did. I was in awe and shocked at who was this woman? Linda started to cry and said; “Oh god I never should have sold it, I should have kept it at least waist length, oh Tom I am so sorry, please do not hate me.” I replied; “I do not hate you Linda, it is just so different to see you with short hair, that is all, I, I just cannot realize this is you, it so different. I like it, really it is just going to take a minute to get use to you and short hair. I mean after nine years of nothing but long hair, that’s all.” I gave her a big hug and told her if she were bald I would love her. Linda gave me a big kiss and we walked to the car. I just kept running my hand through her short sexy hair new hair.

When we got to the car and started for home I asked what happened to the appointment when I got home? Linda said; “Well, Cindy made the appointment for me, for today when you got home at the shop Cindy goes too. Cindy set it up and told them who I was the one with hair over 9′ long. Well the lady who owns the shop phoned me at the house about an hour later and said; “Your not Linda X, are you, I mean the one who has hair to the floor some 9′ long we hear, is this you.” “Well, I hesitated, uh yes it is me and I want a haircut, I am sick of this long hair and am pregnant and cannot handle it since my husband is away on active duty.” The lady said “Oh my gosh, it is you and you want a haircut, oh my gosh.” There was a pause and she had called somebody else to the phone. The lady said; “Is this really Linda X, the one with over 9′ of hair that we all keep seeing in town and at the mall, the one with all that hair?” I said “Yes it is ” The other lady said; “Well have you a style in mind.” I said “No.” she said; “Are you really serious about a haircut, or just checking around.” I said “Why would I call a Beauty Salon, if I was not serious about cutting my hair?” She said “Well Cindy made the appointment for you and we thought maybe you were just considering a hair cut in a passing conversation with Cindy and was not serious about cutting your hair.” “Well I did have Cindy phone, I mean with 9′ of hair one does not go to a Beauty Salon very often.” “Ok, if you are serious and this is not a game, I want you to come down here right now, that is if you are as you say really serious Linda.” I said, “Ok, I’ll be there and we can look at hair styles.” “I can take you in about an hour.” “In about an hour will be fine by me.” ” The lady said “Fine, we will see you in about an hour then.” I got dressed and left the kids with Cindy and told Cindy they wanted me to come in. Cindy said; ” I know, they called here about 10 minutes after I called them about you wanting a haircut. The owner asked if I was playing a game. That you had hair 9′, she had heard about you and all that hair and you wanted to get a haircut, she said you sure she does not want a trim? It seemed so unreal to them, if you really were going to get a hair cut, they were not sure you would come in to get it cut at all.” “Well ” I said; “They have me coming too look at some pictures of new styles in about an hour, so can you watch the little ones for me? “Cindy said;”Ok”.

I got into the car and arrived at the salon. I entered the salon and everyone there was at th
e door to see me. The salon owner introduced herself as Jane. She introduced all of her staff and then said how glad she was that I had come to her salon. Jane said she would be my personnel hair stylist. Jane continued and said that it was not often that the salon got a person as notable as I was. With hair that measured 9′ in length. Jane asked me to take down the hair, saying she had never seen hair longer then 6′ and that was in the 60’s. Women back then were cutting their long hair short. I undid the pins that held my hair up and down came the hair cascading downward. The beauticians were all aglow as they watched my hair tumble down my back over my waist and falling to the knees then to the floor. There was not a noise you could hear as the hair with a loud plop hit the floor and bouncing off the floor like a snake coiled to strike then coming to rest on the floor almost two feet stretched out behind me. “OH MY GOD.” I could hear them all say in almost unison voices like a choir singing Alleluia

Jane yelled to Becky; “Becky get the tape measure, Norma pick the hair up off the floor and pull it towards you with your hands; Kay hold the hair at mid way, Patty get the movie camera.” I watched in the Beauty Salon mirrors near each station seat as the hair was pulled to it’s full length and held about waist high. It was also about this time, that it dawned on me, nobody except the beauticians and myself were the only ones in the shop? The doors were locked, the sign in the window said CLOSED? It was now about 5:30p.m? I asked; “What is going on here Jane?” Jane said; “Linda, did you not want to get a haircut? So a haircut is what you are going to get. We are not letting you get away.” I said; “But I made the haircut for Saturday, this is when my husband Tom would be home, he wants to watch as my hair is being cut.” About this time Jane said; “They are here at the front door, Ellen get the door and let them in.” I looked and saw a camera crew from the local station coming through the front door that Ellen had just opened. I asked Jane what was going on? Jane replied; “In a minute you will know Linda.” Then pointed to Becky and said; “Lets measure this hair and see what we have.” Norma was out on the end of the hair pulling it out tightly, Kay had a firm grip of the middle section of hair in her palms, Becky grabbed the tape measure. Jane said; “Becky, hold the tape at Linda’s crown, and I will pull the tape out as far as her hair is long.” Becky held the tape at my crown as Jane started to pull out the tape measure. Jane pulled the tape out and kept pulling the tape as I watched all my hair in the mirrors. Then Jane said; “Ok ladies hold the hair tight and pull it out as tight as you can, we want all this length recorded.” The film crew from the station was already filming the hair and length. Patty had one of those home movie cameras and was also filming the event as I stared into the mirrors watching this all unfold.

Jane had the tape pulled out and yelled; “The hair measures 9’3″ long, come over her and record this measurement for the records.” The film crew and Patty started at my crown and followed the tape to the end and then did a full far away shot of the hair being held out to it full length. “Ok Linda” said Jane; “Here is the deal.” The camera crew is going to offer you the rights to the filming of your haircut for television. They are willing to give you $2,000 for these rights to the film and airing on TV. your hair being cut at my shop. Furthermore, future rights to a commercial, showing us cutting your hair. I will buy your hair, 9′ of it, give you a free cut, a free perm or what ever color etc you want, plus add $1,500 to the overall hair cut. In all Linda, it boils down to this, the station and myself and salon, are offering you $3,500, plus a free cut of your choice, style of your choice, a perm, a color change or frosting, what ever you want to do after the cut. All this is yours plus $3,500, if you say we are allowed to cut your hair right now. Now Linda, what do you say to that?”

I said I would be crazy not to accept, but I wanted a movie of the event for my husband to watch. “Ok” Jane said; “I will get you a copy from Becky’s shooting of the event. So Linda do we have a deal.” “Yes” I said and Jane said; “Thank you Linda you will not regret this night.” Jane gave me a check for $3,500 and for about the next two hours I had my hair done up into braids, a high top ponytail, piled onto my head. Then I was to play like I just arrived at the shop, release the hair as they filmed it cascading down and falling to the floor. I was next asking for a haircut as the hair was shown again on the floor at it’s full length. The we did a shoot of the measurement and then when we had shot all the footage I could think we could shoot for the night when Jane said; “Well Linda, it is time for the cut..” I was seated in the chair again. This time I looked into the mirror and watched while the beauticians sectioned off my hair around my head each one having their assigned area. Then there was one beautician that caped me and put the tissue around my neck and pulled the cape tight. “READY” or “DONE” each beautician said as they finished up their assigned jobs.

There I sat looking into the mirrors in front of me, all caped up in a bright maroon cape, my hair had bands about 3″ away from my head, there were 6 sections, with a beautician at each section holding the length of hair out away from my head. It was odd to see all this hair being held out to it’s full length. Then the inevitable. Jane said; “Are you ready Linda?” I looked one last time at the hair in the mirror being held out knowing shortly hair was going to be cut. I became transfixed looking and at the same time nodded and watched as Jane took her scissors in hand, raised her hand to the first spire of banded hair, gosh those scissors looked like they wee pruning shears. I watched as the scissors opened and then were closed, cutting into the hair. I heard this schinnk, schinnk,schinnk sound and looked peripherally out of my corner of my eye to see the hair being cut away. I quickly turned my eyes back to the mirror and watched as each section was shinnked away. As each section of hair was severed from my head, it was almost religiously carried by the beautician, to a makeshift table. This table was made from four booths that were pulled together, to lay the length of 9′ of hair down onto. Here the severed hair was laid down. There was a set of five ribbons under the hair. Each ribbon was set at an interval length of about 18″ apart. When the last cut was made at my left temple and ear area I saw myself with about three inches of hair hanging down, I thought if Tom is not going to kill me.”

Jane said; “Done Linda, we are done with the filming, except for the final picture of a cut you choose. Now Linda, what do you want us to do?” I thought about it and said as I looked at myself sitting there, all that stringy 3″ of hair. I spoke up and said; ” I want the hair frosted, I want a tight perm and then I want you to cut it to a _” clipper cut.” I thought you could hear a pin drop when I said that. Jane said; “Oh you had us going the girl. Gosh what a make over you have been and then you want to loose more hair, you are funny Linda, you have a real sense of wit.” I said; “Jane, I am serious, you said you would do what I wanted and this is what I want done.” Well the next two hours were frosting and a light perm. Then came the event I had so looked forward too, a clipper cut. I had not had this done since 1966 and now I was going to feel that warm sensation of the clipper on my neck again after 13 years. I was getting excited as the beautician prepared the clipper for the cut. The filming was kept going when they heard how short I was really going to cut my hair. They partially did a filming of the perm and frost job and now we were ready to film the clippering. The beauticians gathered around and watched as the clippers were turned on and run straight down my head from front to back. Four passes and we were done with the top. Th
en the beautician came around me to the right side and starting at the eye level. She ruthlessly ran the clipper up to the top of the head, over the ear, up the back side of the right ear. Hair was flying all over the place as the film crew captured the event on tape. Everyone oohd and awed at each clipper passing. “Yes” I said to myself as I watched in the mirror, here I come. I looked into the mirrors at and old friend I had seen before. Then came the cut up the nape to the crown. That warmth, the exhilaration hit me, I was now at peace with myself and my hair again. The clippers ran up the neck three more times. What a warm sensation I had I was about to pass out. Then over the left ear and finally the cut running up to the left eye level. I looked at myself and watched the metamorphosis, this woman with hair over 9′ of long hair being shorn to 3″ of hair left. Then I watched as the hair that was frosted and permed was reduced to a _” clipper cut. Yes Jane was right. What a night to remember.

“So now Tom” Linda said as we pulled into our driveway, “Why don’t you leave your bags in the car for now, go inside and make some popcorn and I will go and get the video, so we can watch the whole hair cutting event I just told you about live on the VCR.

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