The bad blood between these two blond icons - albeitfor very different reasons - was legendary and hadgone on for years. Typical were the catty remarkstossed off by Meryl in Vanity Fair as she bemoaned thelack of appreciation for 'serious actresses' citing,"...the glorification of the silicone enhanced plasticslut as cultural standard ... I don't mean to singleout anyone, but consider the implications for actingas an avocation when someone like Pam Anderson isconsidered a successful actress!" Ouch! Then Pam firedback in Maxim, "I just don't buy that you can't beintelligent AND successful AND sensual AND a rolemodel for young women. I mean, we can't ALL be thissterile Meryl Streep-type ice queen being so fuckingserious all the time."
Against that backdrop then, it wasn't surprising whenFox approached the two about meeting in theircelebrity boxing series, or that both readily agreed!By the time the press conference was over theircontest had escalated into a no hold's barred ultimatefight ... with the winner getting five minutes alonein the ring with loser after!
Younger (and she felt tougher) Pam worked thepublicity tour hard whereas Meryl threw herself intotraining with the same single-mindedness she appliedto all her roles. The fight fired the country'simagination and split the public opinion - most menfavoring Pam and most women supporting Meryl. Such wasthe anticipation that most of the preliminary bouts(held at the fabulous Mandaly Bay resort and casino in beautiful Las Vegas, Nevada) involving has-beens and never were's got booed mercilessly. A jubilant Monica Lewinski, fresh off a one-sided pounding of Darva Conger, was hoisted unceremoniously out of the ring with a crane to make way for the main event.
To Helen Reddy's "I Am Woman ..." Meryl strodeconfidently down to the ring accompanied by hersecond, Hollywood titfighting legend, extraordinary,Susan Sarandon. Meryl, her tight body glistening withsweat from her warm up, was in remarkable shape withlean corded muscle rippling in her arms.'Professional' would best describe her attire - blacksports bra, tight black bike shorts and black anklehigh wrestling shoes. Her blonde hair had been croppedshort and her narrowed eyes wore an unmistakableflinty hard focus. Susan wore a grey sweatshirt with"STREEP" across the back and she worked the crowd forcheers. Most of the women present responded withthunderous applause although if Meryl noticed, it was impossible to see any reaction.
Then, the air erupted to the strains of Motley Crue's"Girls, Girls, Girls ..." as Pam Anderson made her wayto the ring accompanied by her second, sex vixenCarmen Electra. Pam swayed seductively in red highheels, her shapely butt displayed to full advantage ina thong bikini; her massive breasts jiggling with eachstride, barely contained by the string bikini top.Carmen was similarly clad and the male portion of thecrowd erupted with enthusiastic support - about theONLY support visible - as Pam and Carmen delicatelyentered the ring and did a once around like a coupleof round girls. Susan smirked contemptuously whileMeryl glared intently at the two Baywatch starscamping it up.
At last, the guest referee, female boxing championChristy Martin, called the fighters to the center ofthe ring.
"You're goin' down, Granny!" taunted Pam, drawing arebuke from Christy who proceeded to go over thestipulations, reminding both women they'd agreed to noholds barred with UFC rules; victory by knockout orsubmission only and the winner getting five minuteswith the loser afterward - and no legal ramificationsfrom any in-ring activity.
"Any questions from the black corner?" asked Christyand Meryl shook her head. "Any questions form the redcorner?"
"Yeah ..." asked Pam sarcastically, "Whaddaya gonna dowith her body?"
"That's enough, Pam, this is serious business!"scolded Christy Martin, obviously having never beenassociated with the Fox Network before. Then shemotioned to both fighters, telling them, "Awright ...let's get busy!"
Confident of a quick victory, Pam lunged at Meryl, herhands raised to throttle her adversary. Meryl deftlyducked the lunge and Pam reeled several steps forward,lurching nearly out of control before she could rightherself, turn and attempt another lunge. As Pamstumbled forward again, Meryl danced lightly on hertoes in front of her.
"Pam, your shoes!" screamed Carmen from the corner."Your shoes!!"
Mule dumb, Pam dutifully looked down at her feet - andsaw she was STILL wearing her high heeled pumps. Neverone to miss a cue, Meryl stepped dutifully forward and unleashed a left uppercut that bounced the dumbstruck Baywatch bimbo on her shapely backside! The gorgeous blonde blinked her eyes several times as the women in the crowd erupted in applause. Only seven seconds into the fight and Meryl had recorded the first knockdown! Christy Martin motioned the grim-faced Meryl to a neutral corner and took up the count, "... three ... four ... five ..."
" ... six ... seven ..." a perplexed Pam counted alongwith the referee until Carmen's piercing wail of, "GETUP!" pierced her foggy brain! Pam made it to her feetjust at "nine" and Christy Martin tried to suppress asmile as she beckoned Meryl out of her corner.
"Th-that was a lucky punch, bitch!" declared Pam,trying to convince herself more than anyone. "Nowyou're gonna pay for it!"
Pam telegraphed an enormous right hand which Merylslipped with contemptuous ease, her momentum causingthe battling bimbo to crash headlong into the ropes -her big breasts draped over the top rope until shemanaged to push herself upright. Pam's balance wasbeing severely affected by the fact that she was STILLWEARING ONE OF HER HIGH HEELED PUMPS! Not soamazingly, the dense blonde beauty had lost one shoein the knockdown, yet had LIKE TOTALLY FORGOTTEN toremove the other when she got up!
Pam hobbled awkwardly away as a steely eyed Merylwalked her down, peppering her with accurate, stingingjabs to the face and body - deliberately backing Paminto a corner. Once she had the busty bimbo cornered,Meryl began to methodically work the younger woman'sbody, twisting her torso as she'd been taught foradded torque as she sent crashing left and right hooksdigging into Pam's ribs and shapely midriff. Pam letout grunts of pain as each body blow was rammed home. Instinctively, she lowered her arms and elbows in an awkward attempt to shield her "barbecued" ribs ... exactly as Meryl had wanted!
Squatting slightly, then driving upward with a thrustof her wiry legs, Meryl drove a powerful uppercut upunder Pam 's chin. The Baywatch Babes eyes rolled backas she slowly collapsed to her knees, then to allfours, her head hanging down, her wild shock ofbleached blonde hair now disheveled and covering herflushed face.
"Thirty three seconds into the first round ... second knockdown," called the ring announcer as - once again- the women in the crowd rose to their feet andcheered as Meryl sauntered with swelling confidence toa neutral corner.
"GET UP, PAM! GET UP!" shrieked Carmen to her dazedfighter. "Think about what she's gonna do if shewins!!!"
It was fear, more than her fighting heart, that forcedthe now frightened Pam to pull herself up the ropesher feet at the count of eight. She had badlyunderestimated Meryl - "that little Vasser girl" she'dcalled her - and was now paying a terrible price forit. Beaming with confidence, Meryl resolved to havesome "fun" with Pam before she ended it. To hersurprise, Christy Martin, the referee, winked at Merylas she beckoned her forward. "Give it to her good!",Christy whispered.
Meryl was determined to treat the crowd to a wrestling exhibition. Grappling her soft opponent into a headlock, Meryl shocked Pam by hurling her own weight violently backward to execute ... a suplex! Pam's petite body was suspended upside down above the ring for a split second before it went crashing down heavily on her shapely rump and back - her third trip to the canvas in less than a minute!
"Uppsy-Daisey, Titsie!" teased Meryl as she pulled herchesty opponent to her feet by her hair, "Now you'regoing for a little spin!"
"P-P-Please ... Meryl ... I-I've had enough ..."whimpered Pam as Meryl grabbed her wrist and began toswing her around in an Irish whip, eventuallylaunching the silicone enhanced wonder into the ringropes which stretched to their limit ... then launchedPam back toward a waiting Meryl who delivered avicious clothesline that lifted Pam right out of herremaining red shoe!
"Fifty six seconds into the bout," droned the boredannouncer. "And Anderson's down for the FOURTH time!"
Pam lay flat on her back, squinting up at the hotoverhead lights at the Mandalay Bay as they seemed tospin, then she began crying in frustration! This wasNOT what she'd planned at all! SHE was supposed to behanding out a beating - and instead that skinnydishwater blonde Meryl Streep was utterly humiliatingher - in public, no less!
"Are you quitting, Pam?" asked Christy Martinpolitely, unable to hide a hint of mirth in her tone.
"Are you kidding?" interjected Meryl, winking atMartin. "Pammy here's just getting warmed up, isn'tthat right, Juggsie?"
Screaming in frustration and rage, Pam from flat onher back, aimed a savage kick at her tormentor. Meryldeftly caught Pam's ankle and twisted it behind herown knee as the announcer called ... " ... and Streepapplies a spinning toe hold ... turning it into afigure four!"
The figure four leglock! Nearly impossible to apply toa resisting opponent! Near impossible to escape! Yetin a few weeks, Meryl had mastered this mostdevastating move! Pam was helpless; Meryl had only tolean forward to apply excruciating pressure and painto Pam's knee ... which she did slowly, graduallyincreasing the tension with sadistic relish!
"Owwwwwwwwwww ... owwwwwwwwww .... she ... she's gonnabreak my leg!" shrieked Pam, waving her armsfrantically in the air as Meryl cranked the hold.
"Do you submit?" Martin barked.
Pam stared at Meryl's fiendish smile and consideredwhat her fate would be at the hands of the heartlessbitch. "Never!" mumbled Pam, defiantly, biting her lipas she choked back tears.
"Work the bitch, Meryl!" shouted Susan, beaming in thecorner. "Take your time with the bimbo! You got allnight to toy with her!".
"I'm bored!" sighed Meryl theatrically. Again, shehauled Pam up by her hair and told her, "Now put upyour dukes, bimbo!".
Pam tentatively raised her hands in a defensive pose -and Meryl was on her like a whirlwind, popping Pam'shead with stinging lefts and rights until it wasbobbling on the blonde's shoulder's like a tether bag.When the glistening Meryl stepped back to admire herhandiwork; once glamorous Pam was a wreck! Her armshung at her sides, her knees were slightly knockedtogether and, incredibly, her eyes were crossed andshe had a goofy half-smile on her face. And the boutwasn't yet two minutes old!
Meryl shouldered the dazed Pam into a corner where the exhausted bimbo slumped with her limp arms draped over the ropes preventing her from falling. Meryl studied her for a moment, but like everyone else in the hushed arena, her gaze was fixed on Pam's massive, heaving, jiggling knockers.
"Time for some HEAVY BAG WORK!" Meryl announced as shegrabbed Pam's top, tugged firmly until - with anaudible "ping" - the material gave way and Pam's amplefun bags came bouncing into full, unobstructed view!For the first time in the fight, Meryl was cheered bythe men as well as the women.
Meryl delivered a cuffing blow to Pam's left breast,causing the silicone filled globe to compact - thenflop about slightly. She delivered a similar blow tothe right tit with the same result. Graduallyincreasing her punching speed, Meryl got into a rhythmand soon she was putting on a blazing display of handspeed ... making Pam 's breasts bounce, flop and flaplike twin speed bags!
"Thirty seconds!" called Susan, with a sense ofurgency - thirty seconds left in the round! The entire hellacious beating to that point had been compressed into two minutes thirty seconds. Meryl stepped back, wanting to finish Pam quickly. Unwilling to allow her time to catch her breath, think a little and, however improbably, perhaps come up with a plan for victory. Pam swayed unsteadily, out on her feet - her once magnificent breasts a rapidly deepening scarlet with black and blue splotches. Christy Martin looked for a moment as though she were going to step in and stop the fight, then realized if she did the entire audience may well tear her limb from limb.
"Now, SLUT!" Meryl hissed. "I'm going to finish youoff!".
She landed a scalding hook to Pam's right temple, thenthe left temple - both eyes began to blacken almost immediately! A huge uppercut and Pam smiled goofily as her four front teeth (caps actually) fell out and scattered at her feet! Pam staggered to the center of the ring, reeling and half conscious.
The crowd was chanting "... MERYL ... MERYL ... MERYL..." as she drew back her right hand and measured herfoe carefully - the round clock ticked down, ?sixteenseconds ... fifteen ... fourteen ... Meryltheatrically kissed her right fist, then drove athundering punch to the center of Pam 's simperingface. The blonde bimbo's nose broke with an audibleCRACK and she collapsed into a heap on her knees, faceon the mat, her shapely ass thrust in the air.
" ... eight ... nine ... ten ... you're out!" barkedChristy Martin, although she could have counted tofifty and it wouldn?t have mattered.
As the arena thundered with applause, the announcerdroned, "... and the winner ... by a resoundingknockout in the first round ... Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeryll Streeeeeeeeeeeeeep ... Streep!"
A horrified Carmen tried to drag the barely consciousPam from the ring, but the announcer declared, "Ms.Streep will now be granted five minutes in the ringwith Ms. Anderson."
"Beat it, bimbo ..." Susan sneered at Carmen. ?Theonly reason for you to be in the ring is if you'relooking for a fight! Whadda you say, bitch, you game?I'm not doing anything right now!".
Sheepishly, Carmen left the ring - wondering what fateawaited her pulverized costar as Meryl and Susandragged the dazed Pam into the center of the ring andslammed the slumping blondes butt down on a foldingchair. Susan brought out a black satchel from thecorner and plucked from inside - a set of cordlessclippers.
"I'm going to take this skank's bush!" chortled Meryl."Now ... let's see if she's a REAL blonde!"
Meryl snipped off Pam's thong, revealing ... anALREADY shaved as slick and bald as an egg pussy!
"Hmmmm," Meryl muttered. "She's such a slut ... Ishould?ve seen THAT coming!"
"No matter!" chimed in Susan cheerfully. "I know justthe thing to do!"
Susan clicked on the shears and raised them to Pam'sscalp line. "Would you care to do the honors, Ms.Streep?"
"With pleasure, Ms. Sarandon!" chuckled Meryl.
She plowed the clippers through Pam's blonde mop,leaving a swath of stubble in it's wake. As Merylsnipped back and forth, Pam's hair began to resemble asort of reverse Mohawk. Pass after pass was made andin less time than it took to imagine it, Pam's lushblonde head of hair was turned to a bristly stubble ofpeach fuzz.
"Wh-what's going on?" murmured a dazed Pam as shestarted to regain consciousness.
"Don't worry your pretty little head about that,Boobsie," replied Susan in a soothing tone. ?Here, youjust relax ..."
Susan took one of Pam's nipples in her thumb andforefinger and stimulated it, twirling the hard nubdelicately, plucking it and pulling until it swelledand came erect.
"Mmmmmmm ..." the dazed blonde murmured. "... thatfeels nice ..."
As Susan teased and titillated the slutty stupefiedblondes tits, Meryl massaged shaving cream into Pam'sbristly scalp and began whetting a straight razor.With precise care, Meryl delicately stroked away thefoamy stubble - leaving Pam bald as a cue ball! As afinishing touch, she rubbed Pam's denuded skull withbaby oil and buffed it to a high gloss sheen with atowel!
"All done!" announced Meryl proudly. "Time to debutthe NEW Pam Anderson!"
Rousing the dazed blonde, Meryl put her in a painfulhammerlock and took the devastated beauty for ahumiliating walk of shame! A sobbing stumbling Pam wasparaded from corner to corner and exhibited to theapproving female element of the crowd, which cheeredlustily. Her breasts had been battered black and blue,both eyes blackened, her front teeth left with a widegap where her caps had been, her nose was swollen ...and her head shaved bald as bowling ball.
"Get this has-been loser out of here!" taunted Merylas security tossed a blanket around the woman who hadONCE been the glamorous Pam and led her sobbing fromthe ring. As Meryl and Susan took their bows in thering, they spied a sheepish figure cowering in Pam?scorner.
"So how about it, Carmen?" sneered Susan, "You stillwanna make it a double header?"
Carmen blanched and began backing up muttering, "Don'tyou touch me ... k-k-keep your distance ... don't comenear me!?
Then Carmen turned tail and ran for the locker roomwith a shriek. Meryl and Susan exchanged a knowinglook, then ran after her!!!
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