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Our local Barber and Tobacconist Shop was run by Merv McKinley and his lovely wife Barbara who looked after the front tobacconist side of the shop while Merv known locally as Swervyn Mervyn weilded the clippers through the swing door in the saloon.

I was eight years old at the time when I arrived home from school one afternoon to be greeted by my mum.

"My you're looking a bit shaggy there boy" she said "Here's five shillings, now get you're arse around to Swervyn Merv the barber and come back with a decent haircut".

Merv had been cutting my hair for the two years since we had moved into the neighbourhood. I had a typical short back and sides which he kept tidy with his silver "CLUKES" clipper and scissors to keep the top tidy. It had been normal procedure for mum to take me to the barber and issue the instructions to Merv on how she wanted my hair cut. Merv always complied with her wishes. However today was the first time I was to go by myself.

I scooted off round to the barber shop and walked in through the front door. "Hi Johnny" said Mrs McKinley (Barbara) as I walked in through the door "what are we here for today".

"Mum has sent me for a haircut" I replied.

"Well I'm sorry love but Merv is not well today and did not come to work however I'm willing to do it for you if you like. I've watched Merv enough over the years. I think it will be alright if you're happy for me to do it" she went on.

"I don't mind" I said "but I've never had my hair cut by a lady barber before".

"Well I'm not exactly a barber" she replied "but there's always a first time for everything. Come on through and I'll see you right for mum".

I moved on through the swing door into the saloon and Mrs McKinley walked from behind her counter to the saloon and then out through the swing door into the entrance way.

"I'll just lock the front door and put up the closed sign. That way we won't be disturbed and I will be able to concentrate on your haircut".

She was soon back and quickly placed the board across the armrests of the barbers chair to give me a bit more height.

"OK now climb on up and sit yourself on the seat" she said.

I climbed up as I was told and sat myself down.

"Well you look comfortable enough, shall we get started then" she said. I watched in the mirror as she took a neck strip from the dispenser and placed it around my neck quickly followed by the dark maroon cutting cape. Mrs McKinley was in her late thirties with no children and kept herself immaculate. She had short bobbed blonde hair undercut with clippers at the back and was wearing a short skirt with a low cut blouse showing a little of her boobies. I had sometimes seen her walking out of Tom Troutman's "Gainsville Salon" after having been trimmed by Renee.

Once caped up Barbara turned the chair away from the mirror the same as Merv always did. It allowed more length on the clipper chord with the chair that way.

"I've always wanted to do this" said Mrs McKinley as she redied the equipment. She first took a comb from the disinfectant jar and combed my hair into its normal style.

Next there was a click and a loud whirring noise which I had never heard before when Merv had cut my hair.

"Merv has just brought these new "OSTER" clippers" said Mrs McKinley as she stood behind me obviously holding them near my ear. The noise was quite loud, much louder than the silver clipper he used to use. "they are much more powerful then his old "CLUKES" clipper and I've been waiting for the chance to get hold of them and give them a whirl ever since he had them delivered last week. His old "CLUKES" clipper never gave me the urge for a turn like these ones do" she went on "anyway we'd better get on with it or it will be past closing time and Merv will be wondering why I haven't come home. I'd hate him to come down and catch me cutting your hair although he has often asked me in the past if I would like to have a go and I've always said no".

Mrs McKinley placed the whirring clipper at the base of my neck and eased it slowly upward through my hair before flicking the shorn hair down the cape onto the floor.

"Merv has shown me how to use this clipper" she said. "It has different length cutting blades so you don't have to be a real professional to use it. At the moment I am using the 3.75 blade which leaves your hair about half an inch long and as I progress I will switch to closer cutting blades".

It did not really sink into me what she was meaning as when Merv had cut my hair in the past with his silver clipper he had always buzzed it off over his comb. In any case all I was here for was a haircut and as long as I ended up walking out with it shorter than before all would be fine.

Mrs McKinley worked her way around first my right side and then swung the chair around a little before doing my left. It felt as if she was buzzing the clippers quite high up the sides of my head with each stroke. I could feel the slow action of the baldes as the machine phuuurrred through my hair and also the warm air from the motor blowing out the vents on the sides. After completing the first run around the sides I heard the sound of the clipper motor increase and then decrease again. It was obviously she was swapping the blade to a shorter cutting one.

Next thing I smelt smoke. Mrs McKinley had lit one of Merv's cigarettes which he kept on the bench. While I had gotten used to Merv blowing smoke all over me while cutting my hair I did not even realise that Mrs McKinley was a smoker as well.

"I hope you don't mind me having a cigarette while I'm doing your hair" she enquired. Too bad if I do I thought to myself. I did not answer as I was quite enjoying having my hair cut by a lady for the first time.

Unlike Merv who held his ciggie and comb in one hand and the clipper in the other Mrs McKinley would take a drag on her ciggie after every few strokes and then place the ciggie on the ashtray while she buzzed a bit more.

I could feel that the second round with the big clipper was taking the hair much shorter than the first but she was not taking the machine so high up the sides and back. Once complete on the second round of buzzing She turned the chair back to face the mirror, turned the big clipper off and placed it back on the hook. She looked quite sophisticated as she took a couple of final drags on her cigarette, blowing the smoke at me before finally stubbing the ciggie out in the ashtray.

She next pick up the large scissors and started to cut hair off the top by combing it up in her fingers and snipping off the hair at about four finger lengths. She did this all over the top before combing my hair forward over my eyes and snipping it off across me forehead just above my eyebrows.

She combed my hair back in place and then took Merv's thinning shears and thinned out the hair between the top and that which had been cut with the first round of the big clipper.

"How's that look" she said as she combed it all into place.

"I think mum will be happy with that" I replied.

"Now for the final tidy up" she said as she once again turned the chair away from facing the mirror. There was another clack followed by a quiet buzzing noise which I remember as the sound of the old silver "CLUKES" silent giant clipper. The familiar buzz of the clipper sounded in my left ear as Mrs McKinley commenced the final buzz round on my left sideburn and worked her way around the back of my neck to my right hand side. Then with the lever up for the finest cut and holding the clipper upside down she put a fine edge on my hairline and squared off the back before shaving the fluff hair downwards from my neck.

She turned off the clipper and rotated the chair toward the mirror again before hanging the clipper on its hook. She then took the fluffy neck brush and after sprinkling some baby powder on it dusted the hair off my neck, removed the cape and the paper neckstrip.

She next gave me a big unexpected kiss on the lips as she helped me down from the big barbers chair. I handed her the five shillings mum had given me but she said "No you keep it as you are my first ever haircut customer and I have really enjoyed cutting your hair. I hope your mum likes it".

She unlocked the front door for me and I headed out and off home.

When I got home my mum took one look and said "My that's the best haircut you've had from Merv".

I replied "Merv was not there. He was off sick so Mrs McKinley cut it for me".

"I did not know she was a barber as well" replied mum.

"She's not" I answered.

THE END 

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