Jennifer woke up groggily and glanced at the clock. It was past nine O'clock. If she rushed she might get to work by ten thirty or eleven. Getting up seemed like the most difficult task in the world. She had fallen asleep in her clothes and couldn't bear the thought of going to work today. Taking a personal day off was the only solution.
She turned over and tried to go back to sleep and forget last night, but her bladder was giving her a message that she couldn't ignore. Reluctantly she pushed herself up and went to her bathroom and relieved herself. When she stood up and faced the mirror she saw someone she hardly recognized. Her red-rimmed puffy eyes testified to a long bout of crying. The dark circles spoke of a lack of sleep and much stress. Her shoulder length strawberry blond hair, that Daryl had pushed her to grow and get colored blond and which she had maintained for the past year, was a tangled mess. She had never been comfortable with it and now it seemed to belong to someone she didn't know.
She held a hot wash cloth to her face savoring the warmth. After a few minutes she went back to her bed and sat down on the side, unable to make any decisions. Tears welled up once again. She wiped them with a tissue, took several deep breaths and tried to get control of herself. She had to call her office at least.
The weekend had been a disaster. Daryl had been with her much less than usual for the past two months always with plausible excuses about work or other obligations. Jenny (Daryl and his friends knew her as Jenny although she preferred to be called by her full name) had planned a couple of nice outings with Daryl only to have him beg off from the Saturday afternoon outing. Early in the afternoon he had called and said he was coming over that evening because he had something important to talk to her about. Her sixth sense immediately began registering a possible calamity.
When he did arrive he didn't offer to kiss her as had been his practice for the past two years, simply coming in and sitting on the recliner that sat in one corner of the living room.
“We need to talk Jenny.”
“About what?”
“Us.”
“What about us?”
“It's not working.”
“You want to break up. Is that it?”
“I think that's the only right thing to do.”
“The only right thing? You mean you found some tarted up doxy who's interested in your money and will do whatever you want?”
“She not like that Jenny.”
“I suppose you think you're in love with her, just like you claimed you loved me?”
The conversation went on for another hour while Jennifer became more and more distressed, frustrated and finally angry.
The end result was that she told him to leave. That evening she talked to her Father for two hours as she sobbed out her story and the pain that she was experiencing. When she finally dropped onto her bed with her cloths on, she fell into an exhausted sleep that didn't give her any real rest considering that it was filled with bad dreams seemingly for the entire time.
Sunday was not much better. Daryl called her shortly after noon to say he was coming over to pick up his things. She lashed out at him, screaming at him and accusing him of every transgression she could think of. Daryl tried to mollify her by saying how sorry he was that she felt so bad, but ultimately her angry outbursts and fits of uncontrollable weeping resulted in him lashing out at her. Jennifer refused to come out of the kitchen while he packed up his few belongings including a Bose surround sound audio system that he had brought over from his own apartment and set up in hers.
That evening she talked to her best friend for another two hours until she was emotionally spent. By Monday morning when she woke up she had not eaten since her small lunch on Saturday. Now she sat listlessly on her bed unable to bring herself to get out of the clothes that she had worn for two days.
Sitting there her mind was still awash with emotions that refused to sort themselves into anything coherent. She had reached over to the dresser and picked up a small pair of sewing scissors that she had been using Saturday morning to trim some straggly threads from a pair of jeans. She idly opened and closed them while she tried to sort out her thoughts about Daryl. I should have recognized some of the clues they were pretty obvious now that I think about it. He was always riveted by women with long blond hair. If they were dressed revealingly he couldn't take his eyes off them. He claimed that he was attracted to me because of my intelligence, my self-reliant and common sense approach to living and my nice but unpretentious dress and makeup, But he was always trying to get me to be more showy with my hair and makeup and even the way I dressed. If I hadn't been so hung up with his good looks and the romantic way he flattered me I would have recognized the signals.
So why did I let him convince me to become a blond she thought as her hand moved simultaneously to lift up a strand of her hair. That should have told me that something was wrong. I really didn't want to be a blond even though my friends complimented me and said that it was flattering. I wasn't me anymore – I was just another blond. Without really being aware of what she was doing she had cut off the strand that she was holding.
She held up the strand and looked at its ten inch length. I don't want to be a blond. I don't like being a blond. I'm not going to be a blond. I'm going to be me. That last thought went through her mind as her hands, seemingly of their own volition, picked up another larger strand and cut it off close to her scalp. She examined it for a moment then frowned and got up to go to her bathroom and look at herself in the mirror. As she watched her reflection she saw herself pick up another, much larger strand, and with considerable effort cut it off as close to her scalp as was possible. No more blond. I hate it. I hate the idea that I let Daryl talk me into it. It's not me. She grabbed sections of hair and cut them off angrily. She continued angrily and tearfully for another ten minutes. No more being a blond for me she thought as she picked up another strand and severed it.
Jennifer had been to her expensive salon just Friday evening to have a touch-up of her light strawberry blond hair. Now she methodically cut it off with her little three inch sewing scissors.
Cutting it off was a slow tedious process, but Jennifer persevered. Her thoughts had slowly begun to sort themselves out and she began to feel that she was starting to gain control of herself. Another fifteen minutes of work had succeeded in reducing half of her head to a small forest of tufts in which the center was very close to her scalp,surrounded by hair an eighth to a quarter inch long.
She smiled at the strange sight that she presented in the mirror. She felt surprisingly relaxed now that had an idea of what she was going to do. She wasn't quite sure of the details yet, but she knew she was on the right path. Daryl was history. She expected that she was going to have a few more episodes when she would burst into tears telling her friends that Daryl had dumped her for a floozy, but she knew that those episodes were necessary to purge herself of the sense of lose. She decided to take a break to brew coffee and have some breakfast.
Suddenly she remembered that she hadn't called her office to say that she was taking off a day of personal leave. She quickly dialed her office number.
“Hi Barbara. It's Jennifer. I'm not coming in today. I should have called earlier, but I was so upset I forgot. Please apologize to Evan for me. I need a day of personal leave. I had a serious problem come up over the weekend that I need to take care of,” Jennifer told her.
“Sure Jennifer. I'll take care of it. I hope everything turns out OK.
“I'll be fine. I just need to tidy up some loose ends today and get myself back on track. I'll see you tomorrow.”
The tension that Jennifer had been suffering for two days suddenly seemed to evaporate. She felt relaxed. She took her time cleaning her coffee maker of the dregs from yesterday. When the new pot was brewing she went to the front door of her apartment to pick up her newspaper oblivious of the strange apparition that she presented with half of her hair cut off in little clumps and the rest hanging in a tangle to her shoulders. Returning she took two eggs and some sausage patties from her small refrigerator. In a few minutes she had toast, two crisply fried sausages and scrambled eggs on her plate and a cup of freshly brewed coffee beside it. After a leisurely breakfast with her newspaper she went back to her bed room and removed the clothes that she had been wearing for two days and dropped them into the basket in her closet.
She felt almost lightheaded as she continued to cut off her hair and drop the cut off strands into the wastebasket that she had set on the floor by her feet. Somehow she knew that it was exactly what she needed to do. The little sewing scissors were sharp and she could cut a good sized strand easily, but it was difficult to do the part on the back of her head. When she thought she was nearly done she retrieved the large hand mirror from her dresser and looked at the back of her head and laughed. There were five or six pieces of hair hanging down at random locations. She tried once again to find them by feel and she got three. Another look and she was able to locate two more. One more examination and she finally snipped off the last large strand.
Looking at herself she thought What a mess, then laughed out loud at what she had done. Cleaning up the mess was but a moments work. Jennifer was a very tidy person and even in her distressed state she had automatically dropped the cutoff strands into a wastebasket. Now she prepared to take take a shower and get dressed.
As she showered and shampooed the short remnants of her hair a mixture of emotions washed over her along with the bath gel and shampoo. She started to cry again at the same time that she was laughing at what she had done – crying at the loss that she had suffered and laughing at losing her hair while taking back control of her life again. Most of her anger had washed away and someone close to the old Jennifer emerged from the shower. Drying herself off her determination to regain control of herself grew.
OK, what should I wear, she thought. It didn't take long to make the decision. A pair of black silky wide- legged pants and a white shirtwaist blouse with long sleeves and an embroidered front made an elegant combination with her comfortable low heeled black walking shoes. It was the type of outfit that she had wore often in the past, but one which Daryl had criticized as being too plain. After replacing her earrings with white gold hoops and a pair of pearls she was about ready to go. All she needed was her lipstick. She automatically picked up the tube of bright red that Daryl favored, opened it and was putting it on when she stopped at looked at the tube. I don't like this shade of red. It's too garish, she thought. She reached for a tissue and carefully wiped off the the lipstick, put the lid back on the tube and dropped it into the nearby wastebasket. Rummaging around in the dresser drawer she found several lipstick tubes that she had used in the past. One of them was a muted pinkish tone that she had always liked. She put it on. That's much better, she said to herself.
She glanced at the kitchen and decided on having a second cup of coffee while she read a little more of the newspaper. I'll clean up when I get back, she said to herself as she walked out the door, her small black bag slung over her shoulder. She walked briskly down the street to the next cross street turned the corner and walked to the next street, crossed it and continued past several small ground level shops with second floor offices and third and fourth floor apartments. She arrived at her destination opened the door to the two chair barbershop operated by the husband and wife team of Millie and George and walked in.
Millie turned from her customer to greet her. “Omigawd Jennifer. What in the world happened to you?”
“It's a very short long story Millie. I'm not going to be a blond any more and Daryl split with me Saturday. So now I going to get my life back in order. The whole story would take much too long to narrate.”
“OK. I know you preferred your hair to be short and you let it grow and got it colored blond because Daryl wanted you to. So now you're going back to your old natural self?”
“That's about it Millie. I'm going to be just plain old me from now on.” Emotions overcame her again and she started crying softly.
“Are you OK.,” Millie asked her.
“I just start crying at almost anything. I'll get over it sooner or later.”
“It's probably for the best anyway. A couple of the guys that come in here knew something about Daryl – at least that's what they claimed. He seemed to have a thing for sexy blonds. I couldn't verify what they said, so I never mentioned. it.”
“It was easy to tell if you paid attention and registered what got his attention, which I didn't.”
“That's pretty much the story for a lot of us isn't it? I went through a bunch of guys until I met George when I was thirty eight.”
“I'd be happy to meet a guy like George. By the way he's not sick or anything is he?”
He's fine. We don't have much business Mondays so he took the day off to do some errands and some decorating work on our condo.”
“I'm glad he OK.”
“You're all done Edith,” Millie said as she removed the cape from the teenaged girl sitting in her chair.
“I'll be ready for you in just a couple of minutes Jennifer.”
Jennifer went over the the barber chair and sat in it while Millie made change for Edith. When she returned she began sweeping up the small amount of hair that testified to Edith's haircut actually just a trim of her attractive a-line bob.
“OK What's going on. Who did this to you Jennifer? It wasn't Daryl was it””
“No, No. I did it myself Millie – this morning after looking at myself in the mirror and realizing I didn't like being a blond. I was angry and I was determined to get rid of it. So I started cutting it off with a little pair of sewing scissors. I wanted it gone once and for all.”
“You did a heckuva job. It's a mess.”
“I know. That's what I thought too,” Jennifer said with a giggle.
“So what do you think I'll be able to do for you? It's pretty darn short in places.”
“Just even it up the best you can and then we'll see.”
“I'll have to give you a number one buzz for sure. I'll try that first.”
“No problem Millie. Do whatever you think it takes.”
“OK. Here goes.”
Millie began at the back quickly clipping Jennifer's hair to an eighth of an inch. After several passes she stopped.
“That's not going to work. You managed to get it awfully short in places. I'll try a zero. That's about a sixteenth of an inch. You're going to look practically bald with your light brown hair.”
“It's OK Millie. Just go for it. I knew what I was doing.”
“I guess there's not much choice. Are you going to get a wig to wear until it grows out.”
“No way. What you see is what you get.”
“Hum. That's pretty extreme, but it'll grow out in a few weeks anyway.”
“We''ll see. I haven't decided what I'm going to do.”
“I think this is going to be OK. At least it won't look patchy. Well maybe a little bit here and there. Just how small were those scissors? You got it awfully close in a few places.”
Once again Jennifer laughed. “The blades are only about an inch and a half long and they're very thin. I had to be careful not to poke myself with the tips which are really pointed. They're quite sharp too.”
“I don't think I'd trust your to sew on a button,” Millie laughed. “There. That's about the best I can do.”
“You're right. It's not much better than shaved. Hum. I wonder.”
“Wonder what?”
“How I'd like it if it were shaved completely.”
“What are you thinking about girl,” Millie asked a little dumbfounded at what she heard.
“I think I'd like to have it completely shaved Millie.”
“You're kidding, right?”
“I'm serious. I'm not just my hair. Maybe a different kind of guy might actually appreciate my spectacular intellect, profound analytical skills, and exceptional floor scrubbing ability,” Jennifer joked.
“I know you're pretty smart, but I hadn't been aware that you're an expert on scrubbing floors. So what do you have in mind?”
“I don't want to feel any bristles. So I guess you'll have to shave it.”
“Even the closest clipper shave will still leave a little bit to feel. If you want it smooth I'll have to give you a wet shave.”
“Well, why not Millie. It sounds like what I'm looking for.”
“You sure? I guess you are. You're pretty close to it already. Might as well go whole hog.”
“Absolutely. I need a fresh start. I think I'll be able to deal with things a little better from now on.”
“I wouldn't be surprised. I'm going to give you a clipper shave first. Then I'll finish it with a very good wet shave.”
“How long does a shave take if there's no clippering needed? Could you do it in about fifteen minutes?”
“Probably. I'll time it for you. I could do it a little faster with a safety razor.”
Millie was nearly finished with the clipper shaving using her standard Wahl clipper with a triple zero head. She had paused a moment to turn on the hot water and drop a towel into the basin. Now she completed the clipper shave and proceeded to squeeze the towel to remove the excess water and wrap it around Jennifer's head.
“That feels pretty warm Millie. Do you do that to all your customers who ask for a shave?”
“The truth is that I've never wet shaved a girl's or woman's head before – quite a few men and a few young guys, but no women. I've only clipper shaved a few women. Women who've asked to have their heads shaved seem to be leery of a wet shave. When I ask them if they want a smooth shave or just a close clipper shave, they always say just a clipper shave.”
“So I'm the first?”
“Right. When I give a wet shave I always use a hot towel whether it's a head or face. So you're getting the normal treatment. It makes the shaving process a little easier and less irritating. I'll be using a hot lather as well. That adds more moisture and makes the shaving easier.”
“Sounds a lot like shaving my legs, especially shaving my bikini area where the skin is very tender.”
“It's a lot like that, although I think that the skin there is even more tender than your head.”
“Daryl didn't want me to shave my bikini area even when we went to the beach. He had a 'thing' about it. He thought it was funny to have hair showing. I was embarrassed about it.”
“He sounds a little kinky to me. I think the shaving cream's been on long enough to soften up your hair. I'm going to start shaving it.”
“OK. I think I'll have to go back to shaving my bottom, especially if my head is shaved.”
“You aren't planning to keep your head shaved are you”?
“I don't know. I'll have to wait and see how I feel about it. That thought has crossed my mind.”
Millie was using her straight razor starting in the front and shaving toward the back. She worked methodically, her easy strokes the product of long practice and experience. Down the sides and around the ears – Jennifer head slowly emerged from its covering of white foam. Finally the crown and back were done.
“I've been over it once Jennifer, but there are probably some spots that need to be gone over again. It'll take a few more minutes.”
“That's OK. When do you open the shop in the morning?”
“Nine O'clock although either George or I is here a little before that. Why?”
“I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to keep my head shaved and get to work. That is, if I decide to keep it shaved for a while. How often will I need to shave it?”
“You're full of surprises aren't you? How often? That depends on what you want to achieve. Some of the men shave every day to keep it smooth. Others shave it every other day. A few come here for a shave once a week just for the way it feels to have someone else shave it. Otherwise they do it themselves.”
“So what do they use?”
“It varies a lot. Mostly they use their regular electric razor, although the ones that use a safety razor use that on their heads too. One of our regular customers uses one of those wet/dry electric shavers with shaving gel. He swears by it.”
“That sounds like a good idea.”
“I'm all finished. You have a nicely shaped head. It looks good.”
“ I like it too, but why does it look so colorless, sort of grayish?”
“It's never seen the light of day, so there's been no chance for some color to develop. It's the same with the guys who come in for a headshave for the first time.”
“Maybe I can find something that I can use to give it a little color.”
“I saw something called 'Summer Glow' in some store. It was supposed to look like a light tan and also add some shine. Something like that might work.”
“I'll look for it. Summer's almost over, but they might still have it on the shelves.”
“I'll put on a little of this after shave lotion. It has aloe vera in it to soothe your skin – makes it feel soft too.”
“Sounds good. I have a big favor to ask.”
“What's that.”
“Could I come in at eight thirty tomorrow morning to get it shaved? I'm not quite ready to try shaving it myself. Besides I don't have a good shaver.”
“Oh my! It'll have to be George. It's his turn to open. He'd have to get here early. I'll ask him. I'll call you back this evening. What's your number?”
“Here's my card. It has my home number on it.”
“So you're going to keep it shaved?”
“For a little while at least. I want to have the experience. I remember having the idea of getting a buzz cut a few years ago - before I met Daryl.”
“You've gone quite a bit beyond a buzz cut. Do you want me to come in early on Wednesday to do you?”
“Could you? I'd like that. I hate to impose on you, but I don't want to get to work too late.”
“What are they going to think about having a bald woman in the office.”
“They're pretty laid back. I don't have a lot of direct involvement with clients. I mostly do the research and get the documents together. I do sit in on the final document signings, but I can skip that if my boss thinks I'll freak out our clients. I may have to indulge in some different clothes though. What's appropriate for a woman with a bald head?”
“What you're wearing looks good. Conservative but elegant should do it.”
“That's what I thought too.”
There was a soft chime as the door to the shop opened and a teen aged boy entered. He stopped momentarily and stared at Jennifer who was examining herself in the mirror behind Millie's barber chair, savoring the feeling of running her hand over her bare scalp.
“Have a seat. I be with you in just a moment,” Millie greeted him.
“I'll see you Wednesday Millie,” Jennifer said as she proffered Millie several bill.
“That's too much Jennifer,” Millie said as she gave back one of the bills.
“Are you sure?”
“It's the same as we charge for any head shave.”
“OK. Thanks.”
“You're welcome.”
Jennifer exited the shop and headed toward an enclosed mall about three blocks away. She was confident she would find what she needed in one of the three major department stores that it featured along with the numerous smaller shops. She was vaguely aware that people did a double take as they passed her, but she was largely oblivious of the strained necks that she caused as she walked along intent on reaching her destination. She went directly to the cosmetic department of the store nearest the entrance. She waited patiently until a clerk, a woman about her own age, took notice of her.
“What can I do for you?” the clerk asked trying not to notice Jennifer's bald head.
“I looking for one of those products that you use to give your face a tanned look and make it a little bit shiny. There's one called 'Summer Glow,' but I don't know who makes it,” Jennifer replied.
“I have three or four products like that. Let me get a couple of them for you. This one comes in several shades.”
“This light shade looks close to what I want. Can I see the others?”
“Of course. This one is very popular. Uh.... If you don't mind me asking, are you going to use in on your, uh... head?”
“That's right. I just got it shaved and it will take a week or so for some color to develop, so it'll need a little help. I think this one will be just about right. I'll take two of them. Do you mind doing a preview for me?”
“Uh.... you want me to put it on your head for you?”
“Yes, if you don't mind.”
“Uh...OK. Have a seat here,” the perplexed clerk said indicating the makeup chair that
occupied a little booth with mirrors on three sides.
“I suppose you're dying to ask me why I shaved my head, but are afraid to because I might have cancer or something like that. Actually I'm quite well thank you. The fact is I needed a change in direction for my life, so this morning I decided that the first step was to shave my head. I had it done about an hour ago. I'm happy with it except for the lack of color. Now that little problem is being taken care of.”
“You intend to keep it shaved?”
“If I can work out a routine that makes it easy to do, yes, I'm going to keep it shaved.”
“I'm done. See what you think of it.”
“Hum. That looks a lot better – more natural. You did a fine job thank you. I think I'll need some of those little sponges too.”
“Of course. Uh... Actually I think you look quite good.”
“Well, thank you very much! You're the first person to offer a compliment. Perhaps you can direct me to the ladies' shavers. I'm looking for one of the battery operated wet/dry type.”
“I think we do have those. They're in the personal grooming section right around the corner there,” the clerk pointed to a dividing wall.
“Thanks. You've been a great help.”
“You're very welcome,” the bemused clerk responded as she watched Jennifer's bald head disappear around the corner.
Once again the clerk behind the counter was startled to see an attractive bald woman walk briskly up and stop.
“May I help you?”
“I think you can. I need a good wet/dry shaver. One that I can use every day on my head,” Jennifer said without hesitation.
The clerk, a young woman in her late teens, was speechless for a moment.
“Yes ma'am. We have several models. I'm not sure which one would be best. This one is supposed to give a very close shave, but it's a man's shaver and it's rather noisy. The reviews for it are all very positive.”
“A close shave is what I want. If it does the job well, that's all I'm after.”
“You'll need a good shaving gel to get the best result. We sell a lot of this one.”
“That should do. How many shaves can you get from a tube. I'll probably need two.”
“Let me look. I think they claim about thirty shaves from a tube, but I guess you won't be able to get that many. Yes, it's thirty.”
“I doubt I'll get fifteen. I'll definitely need two tubes of it.”
“Yes Ma'am. I'll ring it up. You can slide your card through the reader there.”
Jennifer signed the electronic screen, took the receipt and her bag of purchases and headed home. She was quite pleased that she had been able to be so straight forward about buying a razor for shaving her head. She didn't quite know how she had managed it, but she liked the sudden burst of confidence that she had experienced.
On impulse she stopped at the deli, where she purchased some potato salad along with a few other items that she could heat up for dinner. She walked back to her apartment with a growing sense of confidence. Dropping her purchases she went to the phone and dialed.
“Tony, it's Jennifer. Do you have any plans for this evening.”
“Hi, Jennifer. No. I'm not doing anything this evening. What's up?”
“Well, I have something to show you. And besides I may need a shoulder to cry on. I'm better, but I still get the weepies now and again. So why don't you come over to my place for dinner. I picked up some goodies at the deli.”
“Sounds like fun. What time?”
“Just drop by after you get off from work. We'll hang out till dinner. I'll even let you help!”
“Oh goody! I'll get to clean up I suppose.”
“Not a chance. I'll see you later. I have to clean up breakfast stuff before you get here.”
“OK. I'll see you about six or six thirty. Bye.”
“Bye.”
Jennifer went back to her bedroom to change from her relatively dressy outfit to something casual – jeans and a stretchy top. Cleaning up the little galley kitchen took only a few minutes. Jennifer sat down to read the instructions on her new razor. Now that she was not busily engaged in doing something her emotions caught up with her and she started crying again. This is so ridiculous she thought. I've got to stop this. She continued to read the little booklet and after a short while unpacked the razor and it's charging stand and took then into her bathroom where she plugged in the charger and put the razor into its stand. A red light winked on - an indication that the battery was charging.
She began to examine the new Jennifer from every angle in the bathroom mirror finally using a large hand mirror to see the back of her head. I actually like the way I look, but I think I could use a little eye shadow. She experimented with her eye shadow and settled on some subtle earth tones. She rummaged around in the drawer and retrieved several partly used tubes of lipstick and examined them also. Finally she found what she was seeking – a tube of subtle light red-brown that complemented her eye shadow.
With all the necessary preparations done, she sat down to read the book that she had purchased weeks earlier, but had never had a chance to begin. She felt calm, but still a little bit of anxiety threatened to break through. How was Tony, her best friend, going to react? An hour later at six fifteen there was a chime signaling that someone was asking to be let in at the main door.
Jennifer answered. “Hello.”
“Hi Jennifer. It's me. Tony.”
Jennifer pressed the button that unlocked the door. “Come on up Tony.”
A few minutes later there was a knock at her door which Jennifer hastened to open and stood aside to allow Tony to enter.
“Jennifer?? What on earth..... Your hair! You're bald!”
“That's what I wanted you to see! I'm still me. I needed to do something to get back to myself. I'll tell you all about it. Give me a hug,” Jennifer responded.
They hugged affectionately. They had been friend since middle school and had shared many experiences including getting short haircuts together one summer. Jennifer had kept hers short – Tony had let hers grow. Her dark chestnut colored hair was now shoulder length in a classic pageboy with wide straight bangs. Tony had broken up with her boyfriend a year earlier and was currently unattached. She had observed Jennifer's growing infatuation with Daryl with concern because she sensed that he did not fully respond in kind. She couldn't quite put her finger on it, but her instincts had raised a red flag. When Jennifer had called her Sunday night she was not surprised. Now Jennifer's shaved head was causing alarm bells to ring.
“OK. What is going on here. Have you lost your mind?”
“It's OK Tony. Come on. Let's sit down and I'll tell you about it.”
“What the heck is this all about. Did Daryl make you do it?” Tony speculated.
“Nothing like that. I did it myself. It's really pretty simple. When I woke up this morning I was really bummed out. I cried a little and then I started thinking. I don't know what came over me, but I realized I had been blind about Daryl and I was getting a little upset at myself. Without thinking I picked up the little scissors that I had left on the dresser and cut off a little strand of my hair. That's when the light dawned. I didn't like being a blond. I had never liked being a blond. I realized that it was stupid for me to let Daryl have so much influence that I'd be a blond for him even though I didn't like it.”
“Well, that's true enough. It was obvious that you didn't much like changing your hair the way he wanted it to be, but you did it anyway. Why didn't you just go out and have it done back to your own color?”
“I got mad at the idea that Daryl was more interested in my hair than in me as a person. So I cried and cut it off - well about half of it. After a while I calmed down and began to think a little more rationally. That's when I stopped and thought about the idea of not having any hair. The idea started to be appealing. People would probably think I'm nuts or something, but what the heck. Anyway. I thought if Daryl was so hung up about the color of my hair, other guys might be the same. So if I meet a nice guy and he's interested in me it won't be because of my hair.”
“I think that's just an extreme reaction. You're still too upset to make good decisions.”
“Maybe so Tony, but it feels right and I don't feel very upset. I feel relieved and free. This morning I stopped in the middle of cutting it and fixed coffee and breakfast. I read the newspaper, had a second cup of coffee and then went back and finished cutting it off. I was quite relaxed. Afterwards I put on one of the outfits that I've always liked – those black silky trousers and my white shirt – and walked down to Millie's barbershop and had her shave me. Then I walked over to the big shopping center where I got some summer makeup which the woman there put on my head to give it some color. She even said that I looked quite nice. I also bought a razor so I can keep it shaved. That's what I intend to do for now.”
“OK. I get it. I may not totally agree, but I think I get the drift of your thinking. So how do you feel when you think about Daryl now?”
“I'm over the worst of it. I still get a little blubbery once in a while, but that's just because I had gotten so emotionally involved. I know he was a jerk. All the signs were there from the beginning. I was just too caught up to recognize them. But it still hurts when I think about it. I'll get over it pretty soon though.”
“Well, what the heck. Stand up and let me get a good look at you. Hum. Now that I'm over the shock you don't look half bad. Actually you look quite good. What am I saying! I'm crazy, right.”
“You're not crazy. It's just that women are not supposed to have shaved heads, but I have seen a few over the past few years.”
“So have I, but I always assumed they were on chemo or had alopecia or something, not that they had decided to shave their heads.”
“I know, but I have seen some singers and models who did shave their heads.”
“Yeah, but they're doing it for money or art or something.”
“I suppose. I guess I'm doing it because I wanted a new start and also out of rebellion over men making too much of a fuss over women's hair. How's that?”
“Good enough for me,” Tony laughed.
“I want to record this too. Let's go in my office and you can take a few pictures of me.”
“Sure. You can put it in your rebellion scrapbook.”
They went into the second bedroom which Jennifer used for her moonlighting work and also for watching movies and TV. She handed Tony her camera. Several tries and poses later Jennifer was satisfied.
“This one is nice Tony. Let's keep it. You can take a few more just in case.”
“Yeah. It does look pretty good.”
“I'm finished and I'm famished Jennifer. Where are those deli delights that you promised.”
I'll get them out. Grab some plates and stuff and I heat up a few things. Here's the potato salad.”
After they sat down to eat Tony had a few more questions about Jennifer's plans.
“So how long are you going to keep it shaved like that?”
“I don't know Tony. It depends on how I feel about it after a few days. I'm pretty sure I'll keep it shaved for the next week at least. Then I'll decide. Right now I have to figure out how to get it shaved until I learn how to do it myself.”
“You're going to do it yourself?” Tony was aghast.
“With an electric shaver silly. Not a regular razor. That's why I bought that shaver that I mentioned.”
“Oh, right. I forgot”
“Tomorrow morning I'll have to get up early to have George shave me. At least I hope he's going to do it. Millie said she'd call me this evening to confirm it. Maybe by Thursday I'll be able to do it myself. I'm going to practice tomorrow.”
“Well at least you can't cut yourself. This is good. Where'd you get it?
“There's a deli shop in the shopping center. It's on the other side by the entrance.”
“I think I remember seeing it one time when we went shopping.”
“I hope that's Millie.” Jennifer said as she got up to answer the phone.
After a brief conversation she hung up.
“That was Millie. She said that George would arrive early so he can shave me tomorrow morning.”
“Are you going to shave it every day?”
“I'll have to see how it works. I do want it to be smooth. It's still pretty smooth now. Want to feel it?”
“Actually I'd had that thought in my mind.” Tony reached across the small table where they were sitting and put her hand on Jennifer's head. Jennifer had leaned over to allow her to reach.
It does feel nice and smooth. How long has it been since Millie shaved it?”
“She finished it about one, so it's been almost seven hours.”
“I can feel something if I rub against the grain. I guess it'll be pretty rough by tomorrow morning.”
“That's what Millie said. I'll probably shave it every day.”
“Have you thought about how they'll react at work?”
“Yes. I'm pretty sure it'll be fine. As I told Millie, they're pretty laid back and I don't have to meet people very often. Maybe I'll get a turban or something to cover it up if I need to.”
“If you walked around the shopping center with your head bare, I guess you were feeling pretty confident. I think I would have been freaking out.”
“Actually I was pretty proud of myself. I just told the clerk at the shaver counter that I needed a shaver that I could use on my head every day. She didn't blink an eye. She didn't seem to think that was unusual and just explained which one she recommended.”
“Maybe it's not such a big deal after all.”
“We'll see. I think most people will notice it.”
“That's an understatement. You must be pretty tired after all you've been through the last couple of days. I could stay over if you like.”
“Thanks Tony. You're great, but I think I'll make it OK. I do need to get to bed early. I didn't get a lot of sleep the last two nights.”
“OK, but I am going to clean up. You just sit and take it easy for a while.”
“Thanks. I am pretty exhausted. I don't know what I would have done without you around.”
“Well, you saved my butt a few times in the last fifteen years. It's my turn.”
After several hugs and reassurances from Jennifer that she was OK, Tony left leaving Jennifer to muse over what she had done and was planning to continue. Finally she decided it was time to shower and turn in.
It hadn't crossed her mind what the sensation of showering with a bald head was going to be like. As she stepped into the shower the warm water cascaded over her head. The feeling didn't register for a brief period then the shock of recognition occurred. Despite the warmth of the water her body shivered. The water felt like a thousand little fingers vibrating on her bare scalp. She let herself luxuriate in the sensation for a while before she dispensed some shower gel into her hand, gingerly applied it to her head and gently rubbed it around. That too resulted in tingles down her spine. I'm going to like this and I'll have to keep it shaved just to enjoy this experience, Jennifer thought with a mental giggle.
The warm water on her head and body had eased her tension. She felt relaxed as she slipped into bed. She slept peacefully for the first time in several weeks during which her disintegrating relationship with Daryl had resulted in more and more anxiety.
The next morning Jennifer woke up refreshed. Once again her shower had given her an unexpected pleasure. Her coffee was ready when she went to the kitchen to make her breakfast. Tony had seen to that – scrubbing the coffee maker, filling the water reservoir, putting coffee beans in the grinder chamber and setting the timer. Jennifer had put on her shower robe and having eaten her modest breakfast and had a cup of coffee she dressed in her usual work clothes, applied her usual makeup and headed to Millie and George's barbershop feeling refreshed and at ease.
As she opened the door to the shop, the chime sounded and George greeted her.
“Good morning Jennifer. You're looking good. I like your new head style.”
“Hi, George. Thanks. I'm beginning to like it quite a lot myself. I could use a bit of tidying up though.”
I'm sure I can take care of that for you. I'm all ready get you cleaned up.”
“I'm going to try doing it myself with a battery operated wet/dry shaver this evening. It probably won't be nearly as good as you and Millie can do it, but it may be good enough for everyday.”
“Some of them are pretty good, but it not nearly as enjoyable as having one of us do it,” George said as he wrapped a hot towel around Jennifer's head.
“I believe that. By the way, does Millie do yours every day?”
“Nay. I use my regular electric shaver. Don't let anyone know that the barber shaves himself with an electric shaver,” George laughed. “Once in a while she gives me a treat and shaves it for me.”
George had removed the towel and applied hot lather which he spread around and massaged to be sure that all Jennifer's hair was thoroughly saturated.
“It felt pretty rough this morning. I've decided that I'll have to shave every day. If I get practiced I think I can do it faster than I could do my hair when I had hair,” Jennifer laughed.
“Probably so. Doesn't take me very long.”
Jennifer's shave was proceeding efficiently under George's hand. He had started in the front and was working his way to the back. Around her right ear he shaved from front to back then down around the back of her ear. The left side received the same treatment.
“Lean over and put you head way down Jennifer. That way I can get to the back and shave it extra close.”
With Jennifer putting her head almost on her knees George shaved from the hairline up to the crown first on the left and then on the right. Testing the crown with his fingers he shaved that area again from right to left and then from left to right.
“You can sit up now now. I'm nearly done. Just need to clean you up and put on some of this special lotion that Millie said I should use.”
“That's a funny position George. Why did you need me to bend over like that.”
“I'm sure you've seen men being shaved in old movies. Barber chairs like this one lead back and have a head rest. That way a man's face is in exactly the right location to make it easy to shave especially if you're shaving against the grain like I did you. To do it that way I'd need you to lie face down in a rather uncomfortable position.”
“So shaving against the grain gives a closer shave?”
“You bet. A lot closer. You'll feel pretty smooth most of the day. It does tend to be more irritating, but since I went over it only once for the most part, it shouldn't be a problem.”
George poured some of Millie's lotion into his hand and then applied it to her head and gently massaged it. Jennifer felt an immediate soothing sensation as the lotion did it job.
“That feels good George. What is it?”
“It's something Millie uses. She put some in this bottle and told me to be sure to use it.”
“Well it feels nice to have my head massaged with it. I have something that I have to use too. Are you about done?”
“I'm done. You're ready to go.”
“Not quite. I have this makeup to put on so my head has a more natural look to it. I need to borrow your hand mirror.
A few minutes later Jennifer had paid, left the shop and walked rapidly to the busy street half a block away where she could hail a taxi and get to work. The first taxi that she hailed did a sudden gyration to get over, coming to an abrupt halt with a small screech at the curb where she waited.
Jennifer was amused at the cabbie as he continued to look at her in his rearview mirror. She had been vaguely aware of people looking at her while she stood at the curb, but the cabbie was much more obvious.
They arrived in front of her building and stopped. She paid him along with a generous tip, opened the door and got out. Through the main door into the building it was a short walk down the hall where the suite for the Guardian Title and Escrow Company had its offices. As she stepped into the reception area she saw Barbara, their receptionist, with her back to the door as she removed papers from the fax machine behind the desk.
“Good morning Barbara.” Jennifer announced cheerfully.
“Good morning Jenn..........ifer !!! “ Her voice trailed off as she registered that it was really Jennifer who had spoken to her. “Good heavens! What in the world happened to your hair?”
“I had it shaved off yesterday to celebrate my liberation from Daryl.”
“What's that supposed to mean.”
“Daryl dumped me on Saturday. So Monday morning I decided to make a clean break from him and everything that reminded me of him. Mostly that was my hair which I had colored blond just to satisfy him. I never liked it and yesterday I realized that I really hated being manipulated like that and that I needed to clear my head of things, which meant clearing my head of his hair. I didn't think of it as mine any more. So yesterday I had it shaved. I actually like it.”
“You like it shaved bald like that!” Barbara was flabbergasted.
“Yes, I do. I've always preferred having short hair. Daryl pushed me into letting it grow and then going blond. Well I'm reclaiming my freedom and I've adopted the ultimate short haircut – bald as an onion,” Jennifer laughed.
“I'm going to have to think about that some more when I get over the shock. Here, I was just getting some documents together for you. Hendrick Development is taking title to several parcels on Adams Way where they propose to renovate a couple of buildings and add two high rises connected to them. It's one of those mixed developments. And Evan wanted to see you.”
“OK.. Just leave the package on my desk and I'll get started on it after I see Evan. By the way, what do you think?”
“I'm afraid I can't come to grips with seeing you bald. Maybe after a while it won't seem so strange.”
“That's OK Barbara. You don't see bald women everyday, and of course we've all grown up with the idea that women should have long hair, at least when they're my age. See you later.”
Barbara stared after her a moment, shook her head in bewilderment and went back to what she was doing.
Jennifer went down the hall to the right of Barbara's reception area past her own small office and through the door to Evan's large office. He looked up from what he was reading and his mouth dropped open in surprise. He closed it.
“Hello to you too Evan,” Jennifer said, her voice sounding mirthful.
“What the hell, Jennifer! What've you done? Shaved your head? Are you nuts?”
“Calm down Evan. It's just hair. It wasn't even my hair. It was Daryl's. I didn't want it anymore so I got rid of it. I guarantee it won't affect my work. Well, maybe I'll do even better work.”
“You're not sick or anything?”
“Never better, although I still have a few leftover symptoms from Daryl.”
“What's Daryl got to do with it.”
“Not too much. He dumped me over the weekend. So I dumped the one thing that he was responsible for. I feel much better. I hope you're going to be OK with a bald woman working for you. Say no and I'll sue you,” Jennifer laughed.
“Hum. You're acting a lot more like the pre-Daryl Jennifer. I guess I'll get used to the idea, but it is a shock. You used to have short hair anyway. Now it's just totally short I suppose.”
“That's a good way to put it. Barbara said you wanted to see me.”
“Yeah. Right. It's about the Hendrick's work. It's going to be a little tricky because one of those building is held in trust for a bunch of heirs who've never been able to agree on anything. The court has ordered that it be sold, but we'll need to demonstrate that the offer for it is fair. You can get Alex from Summit Realty to help. He's good at this sort of thing.”
“I”ll get on it. How much time do we have?”
“The judge will hear the case next month. That should do it. Hendricks' has already gotten the other properties under contract and has put up the escrow. The judge is the only hang up at the moment.”
“Shouldn't be a problem. I'll get started.”
“By the way, you don't look half bad.”
“Half a compliment is better than none. Thanks Evan.”
Jennifer returned to her office to survey a large stack of documents on her desk. Three hours of steady reading later, Barbara knocked softly on her door.
“We're heading out to lunch with a bunch from Summit. Are you going?”
“Sure am. I'm certainly not going to hide.”
“OK!” Barbara laughed. “We'll meet out front in ten minutes.”
When Jennifer arrived there was the expected uproar as those who had only heard that Jennifer had shaved her head finally got to see her and express their astonishment. After a few minutes of questions and explanations by Jennifer they all headed to the small Italian restaurant that had become their favorite lunch place.
Once they had all been seated and had ordered the conversation returned to Jennifer's baldness.
“Jennifer, I still don't quite understand why you decided to shave your head. Breaking up with Daryl is one thing and I can understand being upset, but shaving you head is way too extreme it seems to me,” Calvin said.
“I'll try to explain it one more time, but I doubt anyone is going to get it. Daryl was always after me to change myself. He had an image of what his woman ought to look like. He kept at it until I let my hair grow and had it colored blond, but I never liked it. It just wasn't me. He was happy with it, but it wasn't enough for him. He wanted it longer and more blond. He seemed to be more interested in me having blond hair than in me as a person. When he dumped me I was hurt, But after a while I realized I had been living in a fantasy world all along. I needed to get back to myself, and to do that I needed to make a clean sweep of things starting with my blond hair. And that's what I did. So this is who I am. I expect people to accept and respect me for who I am and what I'm able to do with or without hair. For now it will have to be without.”
“At the end of this little speech, there was a small round of applause from three or four of the people there. Jennifer wasn't sure, but she thought Alex Wilson was one of them.
“I can understand Jennifer's position. I would hate it if someone kept after me to change my hair style and color for no other reason than that they had some hang up,” Ellen said.
“Well, it's certainly quite an 'Emancipation Proclamation,” Calvin laughed. “I still think it was too extreme a reaction, but I can accept it.”
“Thanks Calvin. I don't expect people to agree, just respect my right to do it.”
“Absolutely. Any of us should have the right to be bald if we want to. I think it's very cool,” Deana said.
Finally they all settled down and had their usual wide ranging lunch discussions.
On their way back to their respective offices just before they split up, Alex stopped and spoke to Jennifer.
“Would it be OK if I called you tonight?”
“Sure Alex. What's up?”
“Nothing in particular, I just thought I'd like to talk to you.”
“I'd like that Alex. I'll be home. Do you have my number?”
“No. But I'll need it to call you.”
“That's true. Here it is.” Jennifer handed him a little card with her name and telephone number on it.
Jennifer and Alex had worked together on several projects in the past. She found him easy to work with and his work ethic had impressed her. Besides that he had always treated her as an equal and obviously appreciated the high quality of her input. This might be interesting, Jennifer thought as she headed back to her office to immerse herself in the project that Evan had assigned her.
That evening she went about her usual routine. She wasn't up to fixing a dinner for one so she had stopped by a small deli that was just down the block. She ate her dinner while reading the morning paper. Eventually she cleaned up the few dishes and had decided it was time to try out her new shaver when the phone rang.
“Hello.”
“Hello Jennifer, its Alex. Are you busy.”
“Not really. I was just getting ready to try out my new shaver.”
“You're going to shave your own head?” A hint of surprise slipped into his question.
“My barber shop doesn't open early enough. It's doing me a favor this week while I practice.”
“You're being pretty practical and matter-of-fact about it aren't you.”
“I suppose so, but that seems like the best way to handle it. It's not such a big deal really – at least if I don't make a big deal of it.”
“I always thought you were pretty level headed.”
“Well, thanks.”
“I Liked your attitude – the way you decided to take your life back. And besides that I thought you looked quite regal and elegant.”
“You're full of compliments aren't your?”
“That's not why I called you.”
“Why did you?”
“I wanted to invite you to dinner and to that show you and Barbara talked about. You said that you would like to see it.”
“I'd be delighted Alex. Do you think I should cover my head.”
“Good heavens no! I thought that was the whole idea. You were going to be yourself.”
“I was just checking.”
“Oh. Like I said I like the way you handle yourself and the way you look. I checked and I can get good tickets for the Saturday show. There's a nice restaurant down the block from the theater. We could have dinner there after the show. I can get reservations.”
“That would be terrific Alex. I'm looking forward to it. What time should I expect you?”
“How about six. The show starts at eight. I'll bring a bottle of wine and some hors d'oeuvres.”
“You bring the wine and I'll take care of the hors d'oeuvres.”
“Sounds good to me. I never know what kind to get.”
“Put your mind at ease then. I'm sure you're much better with wine than I am and I'm pretty good with hors d'oeuvres.”
“Sounds like we can play to our strengths,” Alex said with a little laugh. “I'd better let you get back to what you were doing. I'll see you tomorrow.”
“Thanks for inviting me Alex. I really do look forward to it.”
“Uh....” Alex fumbled trying to come up with a good response.
“Thanks for accepting. See you tomorrow.”
“See you tomorrow,” Jennifer answered.
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