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Like every other time, as I walked into the salon today, I was filled with nervous dread and the slight tremor of excitement that getting a haircut always affords me. Although I never venture beyond trimming my ends and long layers, I am always terrified that the hairstylist will not listen, or do the wrong thing, and I will end up with my waist length, long dark hair, severed in a short cut. I don?t know why I deplore short hair so much, but it is not a style I would ever consider for myself. These thoughts were running through my head, as I waited in the reception area for my regular hair stylist, Monica.

Monica appeared, but instead of issuing me in, she said, ?Sorry Lillai, but there has been an accident at home, and I need to leave right away. You can reschedule, or you can let Trent do your hair, as he is free for the next two hours or so. Sorry about this??

?It?s okay Monica,? I replied. ?I?ll go reschedule.? With that, Monica left and I went and rescheduled my appointment for the following week. Given that I had expected to be busy with my hair appointment, I found myself with a free hour and a half on my hands before I had to meet my friends. This is a rarity for me, as I am constantly overbooked and running wildly from place to place. I decided to make the most of it and go for a nice, solitary ice latte at a nearby caf?. After ordering, I sat at a little table and lost myself in thoughts of my relationship and what I should do about it. The truth is, that it is pretty tragic. Neither or us are happy but neither or us want to hurt the other by leaving. In particular, our sex life is erratic and I have felt on fire for the last few months, desperate for some action.

These thoughts were interrupted by a familiar voice saying ?Lillai, hello?? I looked up, right into the gorgeous, chocolate eyes of a long ago ex, who had left me and caused me much pain (although that was a long time ago, and I have been over it for years). ?Etienne,? I said, ?It?s so nice to see you again. Please, won?t you sit down??

?Always so polite,? he mustered, ?Sure, but before I do, can I offer you a refill??

?Okay, thanks.? I said and watched and waited as Etienne came back with two ice lattes. Etienne and I used to have the hottest sex imaginable, well or so I remembered, but my memories were from the perspective of the 20 year old that I was then, who had not come to terms with either my submissive nature or my hair fetish. I do remember however, how his sheer size alone and the way he used to look at me made me feel. Thinking these thoughts, I looked up only to realize that Etienne was already back at my table. As if reading my mind he asked, ?Care to share your thoughts, Lillai?? in a teasing way.

?Thanks but no thanks.? I said. ?So, how are you? What?s new? It?s been such along time that I haven?t seen you..? I gushed.

?Well, I have a little secret,? Etienne said, ?I have seen you quite a bit. You?ve never noticed me because you are always studying or busy, but I?ve bought the flat across the street from you, and I often see right into yours. Really, you should close the curtains. Although, to your credit, the most I ever see is you playing with your dogs or reading.?

?Wow,? I said, ?I had no idea.?

?I hope you won?t find this rude?? He started, ?But I?ve also noticed that you?re often alone and that when you are with your boyfriend, you two rarely touch. I know this is overstepping the limits here, but I wouldn?t be able keep my hands off of you.?

?You left me, remember, stalker?? I said, trying to lighten the mood.

?Do you know why I did, pretty Lillai?? he asked, suddenly serious.

?I can only assume that you were fed up with me.? I answered, cringing at the shadow of old pain that his leaving had caused me.

?I was fed up, but not of you exactly. I was fed up of the fact that you hid things from me, that you wouldn?t let me in on your secrets and that you shut me out. All I ever wanted was to know you inside out.? He answered.

?What are you talking about? I worshipped you. Remember, I even called you ?God?s shadow on earth?? ? I asked.

?While I liked that very much, you?re 26 now, and I?m sure you know exactly what I?m talking about. Stop playing at innocence.? He answered.

Given the intensity of his gaze and the way I have been way too sexually revved up lately, I decided to let him have it straight upfront. Why not hit him with the truth, after all, I could always pretend I was joking if he were to react negatively, and although apparently he is my new neighbor, this is not really the kind of info that makes great neighborhood gossip, so why not? ?Okay,? I said, ?I do know what you mean. Does it bring you huge amounts of satisfaction for me to tell you that I?m sexually submissive??

?I?m so glad to hear you say that, but we both know that that?s not all you have to tell me.? He countered.

I could not say the rest. My cheeks were aflame and my heart was racing. It?s really difficult for me to say that I have a hair fetish out loud, as it brings all kinds of thoughts and images to my mind and to me (although I know it isn?t) feels like a dirty secret that I am somewhat ashamed of.

?Say it Lillai,? he coaxed, ?Tell me beautiful, I already know anyway??

?Okay Etienne, I, I,? have a hair fetish.? I murmured as quickly as possible, as if these words would somehow burn me.

?More detail Lillai.? He commanded, suddenly serious.

?It excites me to have someone cut my hair. It excites me to have a man decide my appearance and take control of my hair. I don?t know why, am I weird??? I gushed, totally nervous about his response.

?No, Lillai, you?re not weird. You?re wonderful. I wish you could have told me that six years ago. We could have shared these past six years. As it is, you made me go looking for a girl that I knew you to be, but you wouldn?t admit to being. It hurt me to leave you too.? Etienne answered, taking my hands in his.

I had wondered periodically about his own short hairstyles which seemed rather extremely clippered at times, but I had never assumed that he might share, what I usually considered, my perversion. That Etienne was saying these things to me seemed surreal, and I couldn?t? believe that he felt the same way I did.

?I?d like to ask you something Lillai,? Etienne ventured, ?Would you like to try things out with me again? I know you?re living with your boyfriend, but I also know that you are unhappy with him. If you?d like, you can move in with me, or if you?d rather you can get a place of your own and then visit me whenever you?d like, and whenever I say..? he added wickedly.

?Etienne, this is a lot to consider. It?s true that I?m not happy, but I don?t want to hurt my boyfriend either. He?s a nice man. I certainly wouldn?t be ready to just move in with you, but I think that you have given me the courage to end things. Can we just take things slowly?? I said.

?Okay Lillai, as you wish. But just so I know that you are serious, come home with me and let me trim your hair for you. You need a good two inches off the bottom.? Etienne said.

Hardly believing that this was happening, I took his arm and let him lead me to his car. I felt on fire, excited, happy, controlled, safe, all the things that I have been missing.

?Etienne,? I said, ?I don?t want to cheat on my boyfriend. I?m not like that. Although it pains me, I don?t think we should do this, I don?t think I can control myself if we go to your flat.?

?You don?t ever need to control yourself again, I?ll do that for you.? Was his answer. ?I know that you have integrity and trust me, today it will only be a trim. We have lots of time for other things later..? He whispered, strained with sexual tension. Helping me out of his car, his hand on the small of my back, gently pushing me in his flat and guiding me to a chair, Etienne said, ?One second, I?ll be right back. Don?t worry, I promise to show self restraint.?

I waited and closed my eyes. I kept my eyes closed as I felt him brush out and then separate my long hair. He then sprayed it with water and started to trim. As he worked he said, ? I?ll give you the straightest, bluntest line across your waist I think. Your layers I will start at about your chin. Open your eyes baby girl, I want you to see me owning you?

I opened my eyes and saw what I have always dreamed of, a huge, strong man, looking at me with love and with possession, desiring me, and cutting my hair with precision. I felt myself loose control and give way to a rekindling of the love I felt for him. I knew I would be his totally, and before the night was over?

To be continued.

Note: This is a fantasy. Should the real ?Etienne? actually read this by some twist of fate, you can recognize yourself as the only man I have ever or will ever call ?God?s shadow on earth.? This is what I want.

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