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Mylanne’s Barbers had proved to be a very successful business, since she’d opened her shop to local residents around six months ago. Passers by who had dropped in for what they assumed would be a quick trim, had also given her lucrative custom. Yes not a day had gone by in this period of time, when at shop closing time her salon pedal bin hadn’t been full of hair clippings.

Customers, who’d visited this cute wee Scottish lassie on more than one occasion, knew exactly what to expect from her! No customer would leave her salon with anymore length than an inch at the very most. As her first ever customer and other comb over baldies had found out. They exited with nothing remaining, but shadow fuzz at the back and sides of their heads! However they all understood that Mylanne ran a traditional barber’s shop and that this dainty little, long haired lady could be very clipper aggressive indeed.

Undoubtedly she seemed to enjoy her job, but ensured that she retained her femenity at the same time. However her boyfriend Stephen seemed to have been somewhat left out in the haircutting department, because Mylanne didn’t have as much time to service him these days! She also got rather upset if he mentioned going elsewhere for his hair cutting. No as far as she was concerned there was no one else but herself suitable for attending to his hair.

One day however Stephen decided to join the Territorial Army. Very soon the notification of his enlistment date and the two week square bashing period arrived. He’d been pre informed that he would be sent on a field exercise out in the wilds. Also a work colleague of his who was also in the Territorial Army had told him to expect a short Military haircut at the barracks barbers, on his arrival.

Stephen had assumed that Mylanne would have been wise to this and have given him a free appointment at her salon. However much to his disappointment this didn’t happen. Whilst he packed his gear, he even mentioned this to her. Her reply was simply,” ah nae Stephen whits the point of me cutting yer heer. Surely it wid be a complete waste of mah time, especially when the army’ll be givin ye a free induction heercut anyway. Ah’m nae daein ye this time”. She smiled at the disappointed expression on his face. Stephen’s heart sank for he didn’t fancy a middle aged, male army barber servicing him at all. No he knew that it would remind him too much of Mr Goodall’s Whitewalling Palour, a grotty barbershop memory from when he was just eight years old.

“Sorry Stephen”, said Mylanne,” but ye’ll just hae tae trust the army wi yer heercut this time. Ah’m sure it winna hurt ye”! As far as he could see the matter was unfortunately closed! “Fair enough then I’ll get off on my way”, said Stephen as he kissed Mylanne and then set off on his journey. The first afternoon and evening at the barracks were just time set aside for the recruits to get settled in. However during the next day it was totally down to business.

Everyone got fitted up with their new army combat uniforms, along with a military cap. However once the recruits had been issued with all this attire the sergeant commanded,” right men now its time for you all to get your hair cut so your caps will properly fit. If you follow me I’ll show you where to queue”!

There was no doubt that the barracks barber shop would be very busy today, but they were all assured that the service would be relatively quick! Stephen didn’t exactly feel great standing in the queue and seeing several guys coming out looking quite scalped. Yes exactly the same as I always got from Mr Goodall when I was a kid, he thought as he observed the numerous finished products. However both he and the other guys in the queue were totally surprised when a middle aged man wearing a white coat suddenly stood at the door and shouted,” have we a Mr Stephen Storey here”? “Yes mate right here”, Stephen replied. “Right my friend come this way then we have some business to sort out with you”, said the man. Stephen just shrugged his shoulders and followed the man inside the shop. He was oblivious to the displeased looks the recruits gave him. After all why should he be entitled to jump the queue?

“Right then Mr Storey please take a seat in that chair there”, said the man as they arrived inside. As the man pointed at the unoccupied barber’s chair Stephen very reluctantly sat down. He was totally dreading his forthcoming army cut from this guy! The chair was an old fashioned 1960’s style finished in chrome with padded black leather. Very similar to the one, which he used to sit in at Mr Goodall’s. Several other white coated men in their 50’s were busy shearing squaddies. As it turned out there was just one woman barber. She looked to be in her late 30’s and it wouldn’t have taken a genius to work out that she too was in the army. It was obvious that it would have given the woman her trade. The young lad in her chair starred into the mirror in glum silence as he watched her shearing his head down to an even quarter of inch stubble with her clippers and comb. Thick falling clippings were rapidly filling up the cape!

Meanwhile Stephen looked into the mirror and saw the man covering his body with a bright red barber’s cape. Once again he had a flash of déjà vu, regarding his dreaded childhood crops from Mr Goodall. No doubt this would be an action replay? However the man didn’t fasten up the cape tightly around his neck. For some reason he just turned around and walked away. Naturally Stephen wondered just what was going on. However before he had chance to look around him a familiar figure approached in the mirror!

He couldn’t believe his eyes as in the mirror he saw a dainty little cherub faced lady smiling at him. Today she was wearing a very short, red tartan kilt that was fastened at the side with a large safety pin. How the kilt showed off her shapely slender legs. The surgical white knee length boots, which she wore, blended nicely with the kilt. She was also wearing her salon smock over a white cotton top and her long auburn hair was scraped up at the back of her head in a large hinged clip. “Mylanne what are you dong here”, asked Stephen in a rather surprised tone of voice!”Weel canna ye guess”, she giggled”ahm daein ye yer induction cut. Weren’t ye surprised when ah refused tae cut yer heer before ye came? Ah nae ah wanted tae shock ye with a total surprise induction cut in a real barber’s shop situation”. Stephen then realised that it was true that Mylanne had never actually ever cut his hair previously in her salon. Yes this was the first time that she’d had him in a barber’s chair, in front of a mirror! He was completely taken aback and asked, how on earth did you get permission to be able to get in here”? “Ah that wid be telling and ah canna tell ye all my secrets”. Then she added,” tae cut a lang story short here ye are in the chair and here I am ready tae service ye”. Finally she whispered, “dae ye want me tae dae yer induction heercut or nae”?

Immediately Stephen gave her the go ahead so she took some paper tissue from the dispenser and pushed it down his neck. Next she fastened up the cape tightly and she was all set!

He watched her take the clippers off the hook and fit a short cutting grade comb onto the face. Taking up her barber comb in her other hand she gently combed out his three month growth of hair. “Richt Stephen ah dinna want a word oot O ye till ah’ve finished”, she whispered. Then she added,” nor dae ah want ye questioning anything that ah dae understand?This is yer army induction cut and Ah know whit’ll be best for ye. Just ye sit quiet now and Ah’ll dae the rest”. It was as though

Mylanne could almost see into Stephen’s mind. For that was the exact way in which Mr Goodall used to abruptly speak to all the boys that he serviced! Meanwhile any other activity in the barber’s shop seemed to have ceased. Everyone was focussing on this rather sudden and unexpected incident!

The silence was broken as Mylanne clicked on the shears and pushed her boyfriend’s head forward. The
buzzing clippers slowly made several passes up the back of his neck. His hair began to rapidly fall away and slide down the cape. Next the clippings wafted down onto the shop floor and began to slowly multiply. Soon she tilted his head to one side and began to shear away all the hair from around his ears. One or two people were even taking souvenir photographs. After all this barber’s shop had never seen anyone as cute as her tackling an army induction cut! Stephen became aware of several flashbulbs popping off as he silently watched his hair falling away. Mylanne continued silently clipping away until just a quarter of an inch of fuzz remained. Next she removed the comb guard from the shears and Stephen assumed that she was simply going to tidy up his sides and neckline. “Heid doon”, she whispered whilst she pushed his head down into his chest. Next he felt the clippers running up the back of his neck and saw lots of short wisps floating down onto the cape. “You’re not shaving my head are you”, he asked in surprise? “Stephen ah said nae a word”, Mylanne abruptly replied. She tilted his head to one side and quickly ran the unguarded clippers over his sides and around his ears. Soon all the top had also been sheared down to his bare scalp. As Mylanne switched off the clippers and returned them to their hook Stephen simply assumed that she’d finished the cut. However she turned round to ask one of the barracks barbers a question “Excuse me mah friend, but have ye any lather, hot towels and a cut throat razor here? Ah need them tae properly finish aff mah boyfriends induction cut”!

The man in the white barber’s coat disappeared for a few minutes and then returned with what Mylanne had requested. He passed her a hot, moist towel and she placed it on Stephen’s head. He wondered what was happening as she left it there for a few minutes, whilst she chatted to the barber’s shop staff. She seemed to be totally ignoring Stephen, conversation wise anyway. “Richt that should be lang enough”, she exclaimed whilst she removed the towel from her boyfriends head. Next she picked up the can of shaving foam and squirted plenty onto his bare scalp. Mylanne massaged in the foam with her delicate, well manicured fingers. However she still didn’t speak a word to Stephen just like Mr Goodall hadn’t when he was a boy aged eight, no she didn’t want to hear a single word from him. He almost couldn’t believe his eyes as he saw Mylanne opening the blade of the razor. He looked rather uncomfortable actually, so she gave him a little bit of reassurance. “Dinna worry ah learnt all aboot cut throat shaving when ah wis at barbering school,”she whispered softly.”Yes ah shaved numerous men of all ages and tae satisfaction”,she added. Everyone looked fascinated at they watched her gently scraping his head clean with the open blade, starting at the top. Slowly she shaved all the back of his head clean and then began the sides. Her delicate fingers held his ears down, whilst she shaved the scalp around them completely clean. Before long all his scalp was completely devoid of any hair at all. Everyone still was completely focused on the dainty little lady putting the finishing touches to the head shave. Still the flashbulbs were popping off and people still could hardly believe their eyes, regarding what was happening. Soon Mylanne wiped the razor clean and asked for another moist towel. Stephen’s scalp was swiftly wiped clean and all remaining traces of the shaving foam were removed. “Richt nearly done”, said Mylanne. Meanwhile Stephen was rather puzzled, what else could she possibly do he thought whilst he observed his newly done head shave in the mirror. Mylanne saw the puzzled look on his face so she patted his head gently and then said,” there’s just one mair thing for me tae dae”! She clicked on the shears again and swiftly removed both his eyebrows. “That’s beatter we must hae ye looking richt”, she exclaimed!

Yes indeed this was a TOTAL SURPRISE INDUCTION CUT and to cap it all Mylanne simply said,” weel ah wisna sure how short men’s heer had tae be for the army sae I decided tae shave aff the lot and then ah could be certain it wis short enough! There’s one thing for sure Stephen at least yer cap will fit ye richt noo! The military barber’s shop exploded into a round of applause as Mylanne removed the cape from around him, removed the tissue and dusted down his neck and ears with the neck brush. Mylanne put her arm around her partner and said,” ah must admit ye look real cute with a shaven heid maybe ah should keep yer heer like this in future”. “Well young lady I’m afraid this is all we’ve got time for we must continue with the job”, cut in the white coated man who had allowed Stephen to jump the queue in the first place. Then he added, “before you go though wouldn’t you like to stay though and cut a few more recruits hair”? Mylanne considered it, but then declined the offer and said that she would just like to see her partner off and then she would disappear. After several disappointed looks from the guys who were waiting ,all the barber shop activity continued once more. The man turned to Stephen and said ,” I’ll tell you what my friend if I’d been allowed to cut your hair at least you’d have had some left”! Stephen just shrugged his shoulders and exited the shop with Mylanne. She’d removed her blue and white checked salon smock and was showing of her smart and sexy attire once more!

Once outside however the couple shared a loving kiss and embrace, but then they had to go their separate ways. Stephen would have loved to have followed her, but he was now on a military operation so that would have been impossible. “Sorry Stephen ah know we’d love tae hae each other just now, but we’ll hae tae wait a couple of weeks. Never mind though ye were very guid sitting for me like that ah hope ye liked your surprise”, smiled Mylanne.

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